The Walking Dead recap: How to Make Friends, the Merle Dixon Way!

Merle hunts Michonne and Andrea gets closer to the Governor. Meanwhile, Destiny is calling Rick. Will he accept the charges?
Ep. 06 | Aired Nov 18, 2012

WHY HELLO THERE Man. Myth. Merle.

The last remaining squadmate -- the newbie named Neil, a man with a last name Merle couldn't even try to pronounce -- wanted to go back. He pointed out that they were dangerously close to the Red Zone. It was unclear if the "Red Zone" was a particularly zombie-infested area, or if that was just the catch-all term for the entire world outside the perimeter of Woodbury. Merle refused to go back. They had to go further.

While Merle and Michonne role-played their way through Predator, Rick was at the prison trapped in the world's worst abstract Off-Broadway play. He picked up a ringing rotary phone and heard a woman's voice on the line. She wouldn't say where she was calling from, just that it was a safe place. "It's just...away…from them," the woman said, mysteriously. A couple hours later, Rick received another phone call from the same group of people: A man this time. He asked Rick pointed questions. "Have you killed anyone? How many people? Why?" He asked Rick how he lost his wife. Rick wouldn't answer; the man hung up. Hershel came to check on Rick, and when the Fearless Leader told the old fellow that someone was calling on the phone, Hershel held the phone up to his ear and flashed a quizzical look in Rick's direction. More on this exciting development later!

In Woodbury, Andrea had a bone to pick with Mr. Governor. She told him that she didn't think very much of his toothless-zombie gladiator fights. "It's brutality for fun," she said, "And I think the world' brutal enough already." But she didn't want to just be a scold. She asked if she could work security on the wall. The Governor set her up with a cool chick with a crossbow and Daisy Dukes. By way of introduction, Crossbow Girl told Andrea she killed her father and her brother. Andrea said that she killed her own sister; this is small talk in the zombie apocalypse. (ASIDE: Am I crazy to think that Crossbow Girl and Daryl Motherf---ing Dixon might be on a collision course? Like, maybe later in the season, if/when Woodbury goes to war with the Prison, maybe her and Daryl could have a crossbow re-enactment of Enemy at the Gates, with Daryl playing Jude Law and Crossbow Girl playing Ed Harris. Except, like, with romance. END OF ASIDE.)

A walker came towards the gates. Crossbow girl tried to take it down, but missed. So Andrea got off the wall and stabbed it in the head until she was covered in blood, letting out orgiastic breaths like she was alive for the first time. "What's wrong with you? This isn't a game," said Crossbow Girl.

You know who'd disagree? Merle Dixon, that's who. He was having a blast hunting Michonne through the forest, even though she was running circles around him. She attacked and slashed Neil. Right then, some walkers attacked. Michonne sliced one of them open at the midsection, and the thing's intestines dribbled out on her just like a piñata - how could anything else possibly come close to beating that for Zombie Kill of the Week? Michonne ran off, injured, straight into the Red Zone. Bruised and suddenly anxious, Merle wanted to go home. This was such a complete change of perspective from his previous glee --  a change underscored by the fact that Neil had suddenly discovered a taste for blood. Merle just wanted to go home. He asked Neil: "Do you hear that bird?" Then he shot Neil in the face.

NEXT: Daryl remembers his old ma

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