We knew Liv and Luke weren't returning calls today, and when they met up at a diner, we found out why: The coven is pissed -- like mini earthquake pissed -- that the Wonder Twins weren't able to keep the doppelgängers out of Markos' hands. There's only one option now, she said, so Markos doesn't strip them of their power: Elena and Stefan must die.
After we watched Passenger Carl, now in a woman named Pam's body, stab Pam's husband in the neck with scissors (very Scandal season 1!), we went back to Elena and Stefan's scenic walk. Still blood-deprived, she said she'd just hallucinated a unicorn. Maybe it was Caroline, Stefan joked. "If Caroline was here, we'd have a fully catered buffet on the side of the road. And a rainbow," Elena said. "Two rainbows," Stefan countered. I thought maybe now would be a good time for Elena to realize Stefan might really like Caroline, but it didn't happen. They did, however, decide that if Caroline were there, they'd both be laughing. Elena wanted to be more like her -- and a truck appeared. Elena worked her cleavage this time, but no need. It was Traveler Maria, who said she was the one who'd freed them and told them to get in.
While Damon had Matt and Jeremy carrying the Traveler "husks" into Salvatore Mansion from the cave -- hoping Markos would want them and come to him -- it became clear that the battle for Tyler's body still wasn't over. Caroline was on a mission to find a way to save him, and Maria had set Elena and Stefan free so they'd take her to her husband Julian, who's supposedly permanently Passengered into Tyler. Maria explained that she has to get to him before Markos starts his spell. Once it begins, magic will be stripped away layer by layer, and Tyler will go from hybrid, to werewolf, to just dead -- and Julian with him. And the vampires with Julian.
Caroline spoke to Julian, who confirmed it's revenge against everything the witches stand for that Markos wants. Right down to the daylight rings, it's a perversion of magic -- and Markos wants to destroy it all. He has no sense of humor, Julian said. At that moment, Markos discovered Damon's note in the cave. "Found: Cave of Wannabe Witches. For more information call Damon Salvatore," it read. Nope, he didn't laugh.
Damon was about to poke one of his motionless Travelers, when Markos called the Salvatore Boarding House and made his grand entrance. Damon had doused the bodies with gasoline and threatened to light a match. NOT THE HOUSE. To prove he could care less, Markos stabbed one poor guy in the neck with a bottle opener. They aren't essential to his plan. There are Travelers everywhere. Damon tried to tell him Mystic Falls wasn't the best place, and Markos said it's just a start. The spell's ripple effect will end all spirit magic (read: witch magic), and only pure magic (read: Traveler magic) will remain. Damon tried to charge Markos, who tossed him like he was nothing. Why? Markos just had a doppelgänger blood transfusion. He's channeling all the power of his people. He said Damon wasn't strong enough to stop him now. And then the chanting! The spell had begun.
The Passengering Travelers around town broke their vials of doppelgänger blood (like we'd seen the mailman deliver to Pam earlier). Stefan, Elena, and Maria hit town at that moment, but somehow the vamp hearing didn't pick up the chanting. I guess because Elena was still too hungry. She asked if she could feed on Maria, just a couple of ounces. Maria kindly asked Elena to wait. And then, Liv was in the middle of the road. Maria knew she was probably trying to kill Stefan and Elena. She put the truck in reverse, but Luke was there to send it back toward Liv, who wrecked it like an accordion. Maria was knocked out and bleeding from her head. While Luke pinned Stefan to the truck, Liv started breaking Elena's bones so she couldn't run. One of them had to die to render the doppelgänger blood useless.
NEXT: And here we go