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SOUND BITE Silas (Paul Wesley) didn't get why Elena liked Damon (Ian Somerhalder). "That's because you haven't had sex with me," Damon said.
Jesse, the handsome upperclassman who's interested in Caroline, happened to be in Maxfield's class. He spotted Caroline and Elena when they made their entrance and asked Caroline if she'd be going to the bonfire that night. Elena said they would be. Should vampires really go to bonfires? Maxfield began his lecture by informing us that Whitmore was founded as a hospital during the Civil War, and since disease ran rampant, bonfires began because the staff needed to gather and burn the dead bodies once a week. He told the class to imagine the rancid smell of 100 rotting corpses, but really, Elena just wanted to focus on how hot Maxfield is. He called on Elena to name the bacteria that caused the stench, and when she couldn't, he called them out on being freshmen and told them to leave. (Was he really observant, or does he have, like, supernatural hearing and overheard Jesse asking them if they weren't freshmen? Okay, maybe he just recognized Elena's name on his class roster as her father's daughter and did the math.)
Elena called Damon to tell him about the humiliation, and Damon asked her if she'd pressed him for information. "At least tell me you used torture," he said, reminding her that she's dating a reformed serial killer. It's cute that they can laugh about his past now. Also funny: How they were discussing how different people would handle getting info out of Maxfield just as Elena said "Stefan?" because she thought she saw him. "Probably mope at him," Damon cracked. I KNEW DAMON SHOULD HAVE TOLD HER THAT SILAS WAS BACK AND STEFAN WAS GONE. Before Damon could explain it wasn't Stefan, Silas told Elena to turn off her phone and she did. "Stefan" told her he knew she's upset that he didn't call. She hugged him. She said she had been worried something terrible had happened to him. It had, he said; she fell in love with his brother. Ha. Silas' plan was to make her angry at Damon. He told her that Jeremy had gotten expelled, and when Jeremy and Damon got in a fight, Jeremy bolted. He told her he was there to see if she knew where Jeremy was.
Jeremy was currently at a gas station with Matt and Katherine. I thought the coughing might be from, say, internal bleeding. But she had a sinus infection. She asked to go to the bathroom and pee, like a lady, while Matt went inside the station to buy her drugs. Matt had to get rough with the guy working behind the counter because he'd spotted Katherine and was reporting in to Silas.
Back at Whitmore, Damon arrived at the dorm room and found Caroline in a towel fresh from a shower. They had a funny exchange about it -- "Damon! Towel! Knock!" "Caroline! No one cares! No!" -- but all I was thinking was, HE'S SEEN IT ALL IN SEASON 1, HONEY. Missed opportunity. He told her about Silas being on campus, and she told him about Elena having had a weird feeling that something was wrong with Stefan. Silas got a text that someone had just seen Jeremy on Route 9. Elena said there was an old campsite they used to go to that way. By the time Damon finally caught up to Silas (his distant nephew), he was no longer with Elena. Damon grabbed Silas by the neck. He wanted to know where Elena was. Silas said he understands why Damon likes her -- he had a soft spot for brunettes, too (remember that) -- but he doesn't get why Elena likes Damon. "That's because you haven't had sex with me," Damon said. Line of the night! Silas wouldn't tell Damon what he'd done with Elena, because what fun would that be. Damon would see her soon enough. (Silas looked really hot during those campus scenes, right?)
At the bonfire, Caroline stated the obvious: Damon really shouldn't have kept Silas being mobile a secret from Elena. Damon was in a crap mood and nearly kicked some guy's ass. Caroline compelled the guy to forget Damon's little outburst. Elena was by the keg, filling up a red Solo cup. "Boyfriend drama," Elena told Jesse, after he watched her chug a beer. He told her he'd fill her in on "Dr. Dickfield" (that's what he called him, right?) as they fetched firewood. Jesse's been in Max's class before. There's a rumor that the professor is part of a secret society on campus. They meet a few times a week at Whitmore House. (That's where Megan was killed. So now I'm thinking they do tests on vampires there, one got away, and attacked Megan.) Damon came out of nowhere to knock Jesse out, which annoyed Caroline because she "kinda liked him." Ha.
NEXT: What's a Traveler?