The Vampire Diaries recap: No Feelings, No Attachments

Kol toys with Jeremy and Damon, while Stefan learns to enjoy himself again
Ep. 11 | Aired Jan 24, 2013

CHANGE IN PLANS Jeremy (Steven R. McQueen) is going to hunt Kol now. He's pretty cute, so let's just dagger him, y'all.

Annette Brown/The CW

Back in Shane's office, the herbs were burning as Stefan and Rebekah noted Shane's afterlife fetish by the collection of artifacts he had. Rebekah caught the Polynesian sacrificial knife Stefan threw at her after she compared her appreciation for other cultures to him dating a child who only thinks about herself. She asked if he knew why she had refused to compel him to forget all about Elena. It wasn't just to punish him. She wanted him to learn what it took her "a thousand years and hundreds of betrayals" to: love and caring ruins you. It wasn't bleak, Rebekah insisted. They didn't care in the '20s, they did what felt good. It was liberating -- the drinking, the feeding, the sex. She was running the knife first across his heart and then his neck. Stefan had his first jaw-dropping line of the night: "The sex wasn’t good because we didn’t care. It was good because you’re crazy. Crazy sex is always good," he said. She wasn't offended. "You were hardly the model of sanity," she said. He grabbed her hand holding the knife. "Stop. Caring," she said. He made her drop the knife. They were about to kiss but got interrupted: Some guy came into Shane’s office looking for something, and he found the headstone. Instantly, Rebekah was there with her hand on his throat.

Damon went to see Elena and asked where Jeremy was. At the Grill, she said, checking on Matt. Damon said he should go apologize to Jeremy for being tough on him. APOLOGIZE? RED FLAG, ELENA.

Another cut back to Shane. Bonnie turned off the camera so he could talk freely. He told her about Silas, and how it wouldn't matter that he killed those people because they'll all be brought back when they find him. "You’re full on crazy," Bonnie concluded. Then, Shane pulled out the Grams card. He remembers how worried Bonnie was that the spirits were punishing her. "Aren’t you curious what’s happening to her now? Wouldn’t you like to see her again?" Someone kick him square in the nuts. Even if he were to get doused with water, which is when we've established that he's at peak sexiness, I would not want to see him right now. I'm much more interested in Damon hunting Jeremy.

At the Grill, Jeremy senses something was up with Damon when they came eye-to-eye. He started after Jeremy, and Elena called Damon's name and he stopped -- for a second. He told Elena that Kol must have compelled him because if he finds Jeremy, he’ll kill him. He saw Jeremy had gone down in the tunnels they used when Connor took hostages at the Grill. He followed. It's deliciously creepy that while Damon was hunting Jeremy, he was yelling ahead to tell him to run and get out of there because he was coming and going to kill him.

But even more disturbing/awesome: Rebekah was torturing the guy who'd found the headstone to find out who he was. He wouldn't say, and when she and Stefan started talking about bleeding the vervain out of him and asking again, he BIT OFF HIS OWN TONGUE. This would have been more shocking to me had I not seen a character on Sons of Anarchy bite off his tongue and throw it so it slid down a double-sided mirror this season in prison. But the guy also grabbed the knife and stabbed himself in the throat, which got bonus points. Stefan and Rebekah determined that someone must have compelled him, then put the vervain in his system. "Is it my bastard brother or yours?" Rebekah said. Stefan thought perhaps there was a third option.

Did the cut back to Bonnie and Shane mean we're supposed to think that Professor Shane somehow compelled the guy to fetch the headstone for safe keeping, fearing someone would try to steal it? Or are you thinking it was Kol? He heard about the headstone, too. He should be covering his bases. Regardless, Bonnie paced in the room and made sure she had this right: If she helps Shane raise Silas, they can bring back Grams? I thought only those who died in one of these massacres returned if Silas does. Confused! But okay. Bonnie got pissed that Shane was preying on her guilt about Grams and started mentally crushing his hand. Her father, who had been watching this, came in and tried to calm Bonnie down to no avail. She through water that turned to fire to keep him away. Finally, Shane told Bonnie, "You are in complete control," and just like that, she was again. Shane told Bonnie' father that she's a prodigy: With his guidance, she'll be one of the most powerful witches in the world. Without it, she's a time bomb. This is tough: Bonnie deserves a good, juicy story line, but I do not have fond memories of Dark Willow on Buffy.

NEXT: Stefan is badass

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