The Vampire Diaries recap: Love Bites

Everything changed, again
Ep. 05 | Aired Oct 13, 2011

TOO MUCH TALKING Actually, Klaus (Joseph Morgan) was smart not to kill Elena (Nina Dobrev) when he had the chance.

Quantrell D. Colbert/The CW

Do you like how I didn't even try to write a real subhead for this recap and just went with "Everything changed, again?" So much happened. And no one was even shirtless. Let's dive in.

So Mystic Falls has THE worst security of any high school in America. Not only can kids work out in the weight room late at night by themselves, but, as we found out when sweaty Matt opened a classroom and set off a slew of mousetraps, they can also break in for senior prank night. Honestly, the mousetraps seemed pretty lame to me, but that's coming from someone who was part of a senior prank that involved setting mice loose in the school. And by "mice," I mean TWO mice because that's all my friend Jen was able to buy. The mice wouldn't leave the container she carried them in when she put them down on the floor of the cafeteria under our seats, so she had to dump them out, and they still wouldn't move. So then she said we all had to act scared to throw suspicion off us. When I get nervous, I get honest, so I sat there with my head on the table praying for the moment to end. A teacher came, picked up the mice, and took them outside to a field behind the school. That can't even be called a prank. It was a misfire. The best prank at my high school was a few years earlier when someone -- presumably the two rock climbers in that senior class -- scaled the outside of the building and altered the school's name: Penns Valley became Penis Valley. BRILLIANT. But back to the show. While Tyler set out to lead the Saran Wrap toilet seats charge, Elena caught Caroline's soon-to-be-senior spirit and was off to superglue Alaric's desk shut when she ran into Klaus.

Where were Elena's usual saviors? Well, Damon and Katherine had been driving aimlessly for hours ("Stop being cute" / "It's not possible"), which turned Katherine on enough for them to have a little makeout session. One of my pet peeves is when people on TV shows don't actually look at the road when they're driving, but these two are immortal, so I'll let it slide...because I didn't know Katherine had Jeremy in the trunk! Neither did Damon until he finally hit a rest stop to give Katherine a break from the sexual tension -- he'd pulled away from her during that kiss because she doesn't do it for him anymore -- and demanded she tell him her plan. She told him she had Elena's necklace, which Klaus wanted, but more importantly, that she had something even better -- Jeremy. Turns out, Pearl had told Katherine that she knew a way to kill Klaus but had never revealed how to anyone but her daughter, Anna. When Bonnie told Katherine (posing as Elena) that Jeremy could talk to his dead exes, she had the idea to get him to ask Anna for help. Convenient? Yes. But it's not like Katherine is known for sharing information until she absolutely has to.

Stefan, meanwhile, was waking up again in Klaus' truck. Rebekah told him Klaus had been breaking his neck all afternoon and knew that Elena was still alive. Stefan charged her, and they fought. She told him to consider her jealous and staked him in the stomach with a crowbar. Rebekah eventually made her way into the school after that because she popped up in the hallway and interrupted a post-prank makeout session between Tyler and Caroline. I loved that Caroline instinctively stood in front of Tyler to protect him once she realized Rebekah knew who and what they were. Rebekah bit Caroline and apparently knocked her out.

Bonnie was busy toilet-papering the pool with Matt and his pause-the-DVR-they're-so-pretty blue eyes. She told him that she and Jeremy have been having a bit of a tough time since he shared that he's seeing the ghosts of his ex girlfriends. Cue the slightly awkward conversation about how all Matt had to worry about last summer was Elena breaking up with him and how much he sucked at CPR. You knew there was a reason we found out that both Matt and Bonnie were lifeguards... They were going to rendezvous in the gym after Matt went to the bathroom to pick up more TP. Matt had told Bonnie he wanted to see Vicki himself so he could say goodbye. All he saw in the bathroom was the stall door move on its own, but we saw Vicki say that she could help him.

NEXT: Damon is officially over Katherine


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