True Blood recap: Vamp Camp

While cell blocks got more crowded, an old friend paid Jason a visit and trouble found Sookie (as always)
Ep. 05 | Aired Jul 14, 2013

UP FOR PROMOTION Jason (Ryan Kwanten) is joining the LAVTF to save Jessica. Only downside: They wear a lot of clothes.

John P. Johnson

Just when we're getting some momentum, the werewolves, the shifters, and/or Terry are there to slow an episode down. Still, this could be my favorite episode of the season so far.

We picked up with Sookie on the couch with Warlow, telling him that she had a ball of vampire-killing fairy light held to his head. He insisted he wasn’t there to scare her or hurt her: She’s his “intended,” and he’s roamed this earth for a millennia in misery and solitude dreaming about finding her. Let’s take a moment and think about Anna Paquin having to act out that verbal tiff, pretending to hold a ball of light as she paraded around in a bra and panty set and heels. Warlow said he loves her. If that’s the case, she wants to know why he killed her parents.

Speaking of murder, cut to Jessica still crying over draining the Bellefleur Fairy Four. Whoa! She kissed Bill while hugging him and apologizing. He pulled her off of him -- fairy blood makes vampires high, remember.

According to Warlow, the night Sookie’s parents died, they were trying to kill her and he saved her. “Bulls---,” she said, and punched him with the hand holding the light. Bill felt it, too, and he had quick flashbacks to what I correctly assumed was Lilith making Warlow a vampire and him leading her to the sun. While Bill told Jessica to sleep it off in her room, we watched Warlow heal where Sookie had struck him and get another piece of her mind. No vampire is going to own her, blah, blah, blah. We’ve heard this all before. Bill burst in, and Sookie assumed he was there to try to save her. Nope. Warlow said if Bill was the one who’d been harassing Sookie he best leave before Warlow kills him. “You already have,” Bilith said. “As your maker, I command you: Come with me.” And off Warlow went with him. They must not have gone straight home: Over at Bill’s, Jessica hid when Andy arrived. One of the four girls -- #4, I believe -- was still alive. He carried her out.

Tara told Eric that the vampire cops had taken Pam, and his plan wasn’t to put on a shirt underneath his jacket (thank god); it was for the two of them to surrender. Pam was already being escorted through the camp, seeing the experiments that included fang extraction and speed tests -- both running in a large wheel and f---ing. “Care to explain the scientific value of this?” she asked her guard. Let’s have Eric do that one, please. It’s been a few seasons since we’ve seen it.

NEXT: Warlow is unlucky, Jason gets lucky

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