Image credit: John P. Johnson/HBO
FIRST FAMILY Jason (Ryan Kwanten) isn't fairy royalty, but Sookie (Anna Paquin) is.
Eric was lurking outside the Governor's mansion and -- yay! -- posed as his 5:30 p.m. human appointment. (It gets dark in Bon Temps early. Let's just pretend not to question how Eric gets his hair to do that.) "No problemo," Eric said, when the governor apologized for keeping him waiting. He was allegedly there from the department of wildlife and fisheries to talk about the whooping crane, but first, he listened as the governor told him how vampires had turned two children into fangers at a Chuck E. Cheese's and then the kids later killed their parents. When Eric said perhaps the baby vamps were just trying to survive -- like the whooping crane -- the two had a heated exchange that ended with Eric saying, "It's a tough f---ing bird." Eric then tried to glamour the governor into stopping the persecution of vamps, rescinding the order to close vampire-owned businesses, and beginning to prosecute human-on-vampire crime with the same vigor as the reverse. Eric ended by telling the governor that he now loves all vampires, and the governor's first word: "Guards!" He laughed in Eric's face and told him it was time for humans to bite back. They'd figured out how to make contact lenses that keep them from being glamoured, and how to make weapons that will fry vamps from the inside out -- and that's just the start of it. The governor ordered Eric to be transferred to "camp."
Sookie arrived home to find Jason waiting up for her. He introduced her to her fairy grandfather
Boba Fett Niall, and after she made the men spaghetti, we got to admire Jason's biceps in his T-shirt as Niall told them that Warlow was now in our dimension. He said Warlow has been obsessed with the Stackhouse family for thousands of years because they're the original Fae; they're bloodline is royal, and he's king of their tribe. Sorry, Jason, you're not a Fairy Prince. Warlow had massacred Niall's village when he was 3 or 4. He'd killed his parents, too. Niall has been tracking Warlow over the centuries, and Warlow had shown himself to one of his sons, John Stackhouse, who'd signed the pact promising Sookie to Warlow. The night Sookie's parents were killed, Claudine had blasted Warlow into a dark realm where he'd been until now. Niall told Sookie their bloodline has a secret ability that's been passed down through generations: They can channel their light into a single ball of energy that when released will go supernova and kill any vampire it touches. (How do you keep a straight face saying that line?) It's a last resort for Sookie, he said. Because she's only half fae, she can only use it once -- and then she'll no longer be fae at all. Like a Patronus is powered by a happy memory, this is powered by love, pain, secrets, hopes, and dreams.
The guards led Eric to a van but apparently had never met a vampire that could fly. Up, up, and away he went. Sam finally got home with food for Lafayette and Emma. Just then, Alcide, Martha, and Danielle (where was Rikki?) pulled up because Alcide thinks it's best that Emma come with them now that the Feds are going to be looking for her and shifters have been exposed. Sam made a good point: The last time they trusted the pack with Emma, Russell had gotten a hold of her and Sam had found her in a cage. Luna died to keep Emma safe, and Sam was going to honor his word. Lafayette came out to say that Emma wanted to stay with Sam, and then Emma ran out saying it. Martha grabbed her, and Sam punched Alcide. As those two tangled, Danielle beat on Lafayette. Oh hell no. That is one way to guarantee viewers hate you. The Vampire Unity Society was lurking in the woods taking pictures of the whole thing.
NEXT: Let the right hot vampire in