Tough luck for those of you who were eagerly anticipating Eric's return to sexy leather-clad Viking form. Tonight's True Blood gave us a respite from the tiring Eric/Sookie puppy love talk, as we learned that Marnie's role in Antonia's war is bigger than we'd ever thought. Before we dig in, you might notice that I am not supernatural sexpert Mandi Bierly -- last we heard, she was kayaking her way to the Hoboken branch of Moon Goddess Emporium in the wake of Hurricane Irene. I hope you'll enjoy this emergency guest recap, even though I just so happen to be Team Alcide. Try to think of it as an Antonia/Marnie type of thing.
So it turns out all of those fancy corporate sponsorships and bottles of AB negative Nan scored for the Festival of Tolerance were for naught. The whole 'human guards with spilling entrails' gag sent the crowd into a panic, with humans, vampires, and witches alike caught in the bloody crossfire. Sookie ran through the crowd to stop a Mantonia-controlled Eric from snapping Bill's neck while Nan kicked ass, took a few names, and staked a bewitched vampire with a pencil.
When Bill found himself facing the true death via Eric's giant wooden stake, Sookie used her fairy power to save him, and her signature light-move also happened to restore multiple centuries of sexy viking vampire memories in Bill's intended assassin. Sookie showers included! So Sookie stared at Eric with a trepidatious "what the Hell do we do now?" look on her face, while Antonia (appearing in true form) surveyed her carnage and decided that the whole tragic, orphan-making war thing may not be for her and teleported out with her wiccan friends.
Nan and Bill discussed the damage when they were safely back at the king's lair, and while Nan was mostly concerned with the PR disaster she had on her hands, Bill decided that enough was enough and it was time to kill Mantonia, whatever it may take. Bill has lost so much since he decided to live life under Nan's politically correct thumb, (the look on his face when Sookie returned Eric's memories at the Festival said it all) and now it was finally time to act in his own best interest again. It's too bad he couldn't have been in the room with Sookie and Eric when she told him she couldn't bear a world without Bill in it, and probably only loved Eric and Bill because of the intoxicating effects of their vampire blood. Eric still loved Sookie after Mantonia's spell had worn off, but Sookie was confused after last week's vivid vampire threesome dream. While it was interesting to see Sookie admit her feelings for both vampires to Eric, their first scene together post-memory gain was a confusing disappointment. The Eric we all fell in love with during the first three seasons of this show was a cocky, merciless Viking with a fondness for leather attire and witty comebacks, but this seemingly restored Eric more closely resembled the lovesick teenager we've been witnessing as of late. That Eric was great comedy fodder for a few episodes, but I want my Viking back and clearly Pam does too, judging from the disdainful look she threw Sookie when vampire and maker were finally re-united. Pam is the voice of reason on the show.
Sookie, Eric, Pam, Bill, and Nan gathered in Bill's fabulously re-done foyer to discuss their next move, which was to blow up Moon Goddess Emporium and all of its unlucky inhabitants. This included Tara, and Sookie instantly began to re-think her feelings for both of her vampire beaus when they agreed to accept the collateral damage and light it up anyway.
NEXT: Mantonia battles herselves, Jason and Jessica face the consequences.