If you didn't know the end of the season was coming, you certainly felt it in this hour. There was a big reveal either to the audience or to another character about every five minutes. Things moved so quickly, we didn't even have time for a good sex scene (although we did finally get a real-life kiss between Eric and Sookie).
Having read the Charlaine Harris novels, I can't tell if I would've shared Sookie's reaction to Bill finally telling her that she's a fairy (''I'm a fairy? How f----n' lame?''). So let's just roll with it. Bill explained that every supernatural being he's ever met believes that fairies were wiped out of existence by vampires. Speaking of being wiped out, we cut to Jason and Tara trying to cover up Franklin's remains and gathering his clothes to burn. I believe that was the longest we've ever lingered on bloody vampire bits, and I had to put down the tuna salad sandwich I made the mistake of trying to eat. While Jason was busy flashing back to Eggs and that vampire Stephen Root played, Sam was also reliving the past. In 2003, he was stealing jewelry to get money to open his bar, and planning on living happily ever after with a woman played by Arielle Kebbel. You might remember her as Dean's young wife on Gilmore Girls, but she has also popped up on Vampire Diaries (she was Stefan's old friend) and is now in theaters in Vampires Suck. Turns out, she was playing Sam and her real man came, gun drawn, into the hotel room — which had HBO, did you notice the little card above the TV? — and they took Sam's loot. We thought we were seeing this because it was another example of Sam letting someone walk all over him. We were wrong...
Bill and Sookie continued their conversation, and she was worried that he was only with he because her blood is so delectable. He admitted it drew him to her, but rattled off all the things he truly loves about her and said he'd never feed on her again if that's what it took to prove his feelings are genuine. If I were her, I would've said, ''Yes, let's do that.'' But the tears in her eyes said she believed him, for now.
Eric lacked faith in his ability to defeat Russell and was preparing for the true death by leaving everything to Pam in his will. This didn't sit well with Yvetta, who was asked to be a witness. She'd thought Eric promised to take care of her. ''I promised you a job and good sex. That is all,'' he said. (''That is enough,'' I said aloud to my TV, and I swear my DVR/life partner, Peter, made the picture go dark for a second as though to wink in agreement.) When Yvetta asked Eric if she meant nothing to him, he said ''less than nothing,'' and called her a ''gold-digging whore.'' That last bit was in English, and I refuse to believe that other languages don't have phrase for that. Surprisingly, Pam felt sorry for Yvetta and told Eric that he could be a cold-hearted bastard.
NEXT: A whole new dimension of trash