'Top Chef' recap: Judge Dread

The first group of chefs (Radhika, Hosea, Jamie, Fabio, Melissa, and Eugene) got to work in the kitchen and came out to present their dishes to the judges — and the five other contestants, who would also be guest judging the challenge. Not a bad idea — this was finally an opportunity for this season's nicey-nice contestants to take some low-blows — but the contestants were fairly kind to their fellow chefs, especially when compared to Toby. The new judge — who apparently had time-traveled onto the Top Chefsoundstage from 2004 — claimed he found the weapons of mass destruction in Radhika's heavy-handed curried crab bisque and that Eugene's crispy red snapper was like ''the bland leading the bland.'' Now, I give the man props for trying to up the creativity quotient of Top Chef's critiques, but could these ''clever'' quips have seemed more pre-written? But I don't blame Top Chef for importing a man boobs-less Simon Cowell-a-like: The show could use some spice in the panel department, and they already have a Randy, thanks to Padmabot (just replace ''aight'' and ''dawg'' with ''this is delicious!'' and gagging noises).

But Toby did more critiquing than expected for Group A, as Jamie was the only one to make it out completely unscathed with her dish: seared scallops with fennel garlic oranges and olives. Group B fared a bit better: The judges were fans of Stefan's roasted duck and Ariane's skate wing with pineapple. Even Dr. Jeff won accolades for his avocado sorbet, which Toby curiously compared to Tom Cruise. (Apparently, the sorbet keeps Katie Holmes chained in its basement too?) But Group B wasn't untouchable: Carla's seared scallop on risotto was too garlic-y for our judge's palates.

When it came time for panel, our judges chose their top three for the challenge: Jamie, for her scallops; Ariane, for her skate; and Stefan, for his duck. And after seven victory-less episodes, Jamie finally nabbed a win, thanks to her refined, perfectly complemented dish. Choosing the bottom three was fairly easy: Eugene, whose snapper with tomato and basil was creative, but ultimately too mild, Carla, whose scallop was tart and bitter, and Melissa, who unwisely tried to show the judges her personality with fish tacos (According to Tom, Melissa is fish tacos. And this is not a good thing, obviously). Our two ousted contestants? Ultimately, the panel decided that Eugene had promise, but they didn't have the patience to see him flourish, and Fish Tacos was just not imaginative enough to stay in the game.

Over to you, friends! Did you think Eugene and Fish Tacos deserved to go home? Is Toby funny or too contrived? What makes you happier: seeing Jamie win a challenge, or knowing that you don't have to see her sulk about not winning a challenge anymore? Until next week!

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