American Idol recap: Randy's Cruel and Unusual Dawghouse

Only 10 of the Top 15 Girls (the wrong 10) get to perform following Randy's leatherdenim workshop
Ep. 11 | Aired Feb 18, 2014


Majesty Rose, Pharrell's "Happy": Right away Dream Queen Lambert provided some solid advice to Majesty in that she should slow down the song and settle into its pocket. I'm not sure why she played the guitar for the first part; the coaches had advised against it and we definitely couldn't hear her playing. She looked much more comfortable during the rousing clap section. It wasn't perfect, but this performance was WAY better than I ever could have expected from the first wobbly horse nudged onto the brink of insanity. Will her breeziness wind its way to the forefront of voters' minds all the way from slot number one? Let's hope so.

Kristen O'Connor, Adele's "Turning Tables": The tone of her voice is just as gorgeous as her face. But in terms of a total package, I'm not moved by the registered nurse. In fact the only thing I haven't forgotten about her segment are the Kelly Kapowski-esque floral pants she donned for Randy's Fashion Werk-shop. Wait! Kristen also wore a hat.

Briana Oakley, Demi Lovato's "Warrior": I'm torn on Briana. I like that she's a serious person who's hard on herself -- call me crazy, go ahead, I do it to myself all the time. She's one of those contestants I can picture having a big personal growth arc on the show once she eases up on her ruminative thoughts, achieves mindfulness, settles into the pocket, etc. But the fact is her vocals tonight were all over the place. It should be illegal to waver as many times as she did on the line "I'm a warrior." So I just don't think this is happening for Briana. Also, a reminder from Harry: High notes are not triple axels. There, now aren't you glad you skipped the Olympics to watch this?

Jena Irene Asciutto, the Rolling Stones' "Paint It Black": J. Lo threw Jena a bone: "You pulled that out at the end there." Indeed, her final string of notes on "'til my darkness goes" was the first time I could breathe normally during this performance. Every song had a nervous, jittery quality tonight, but it bothered me the most in Jena's for some reason -- probably because we've heard her sing so much better than this. Still, she showed some edge and attitude with the song choice (though Harry Connick Jr. still doesn't believe she has a clue what "Paint It Black" is about. "Darkness, in one word." She's not wrong.).

J. Lo liked Jena's sultriness and called her "kind of a badass." Back in The Chamber of Secretions where everyone was sweating, I bet this is where Jessica Meuse lost 50 percent of her will to live. But she'd need to gain it back!

Bria Anai Johnson, Melanie Fiona's "Wrong Side of a Love Song": "I want to be remembered as the girl with the lips!" our "big fashion geek" gushed to his highness of the leatherdenim kingdom, Randy Jackson. Um, next! Okay, seriously. Bria's cute. I love the white blazer and sparkly black pants. I love the energy. I even love the lip shtick; it's fun. But this isn't a shouting competition! She's got to funnel some of her energy internally and not rely on performance drama to whisk her through. Is she "one of our best singers," really, Jennifer? After this performance, I still have absolutely no proof of that.

This amuses me: Bria's Twitter handle is @BeautyKillsYou_ . Why use your name, right? Names are lame. Beauty kills you underscore, okay? It happens all the time.

Marrialle Sellars, Katy Perry's "Roar": Just terrible. Major train wreck. Lost her shoe. I can't.

NEXT PAGE: Harry still disapproves of a girl (now barely a woman) singing 'I'd shave you smooth' 

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