There was one straggler act who should have followed the rules and performed her screeching ode to triangles during last night's performance show, but instead she showed up tonight to kneel on the ground, spank herself, trace her fingers along the mic stand suggestively, and writhe around with a pack of backup dancing…lions? Wolves? Turns out this was Already Established Music Act Ke$ha.
"How the f--- is SHE the famous one?" asked everyone. "C'Mon!"
I was especially excited to see season 1 winner Melanie Amaro return, as Amaro has become one of my favorite Instagram filters! I'm not sure why the show doesn't bother to make a bigger deal out of her, or promote her stuff, but anyway she sang her new single "Long Distance" flawlessly. I've listened to it multiple times and it's stuck and I LIKE IT. But seeing her onstage just reminds us how absurd a $5 million contract for the winner of a reality show really is. I saw a beaming face and a beautiful voice up there, but no great audience connection, really, and nothing more remarkable than the vocal itself.
Simon shilled for Sony headphones and we all died a little more inside. Truth is I've been dead for years.
THIS WEEK'S RANKINGS
1. Tate Stevens
2. Carly Rose Sonenclar
4. Fifth Harmony
Do you think Diamond should've stayed in over Fifth Harmony?
Is Britney's rack getting BIGGER?
Should Ke$ha and CeCe form a terrible Decatur, Illnois-based girl group?