The X Factor recap: Funky Divas

It's Diva Night! Time for the top 11 acts to break out the sparkles and sob stories...
Ep. 16 | Aired Nov 14, 2012

BABY I CAN SEE YOUR HALO It was tough, but I found it!

Fox

Khloe and Mario think a LOT of things about Pepsi are amazing. Chug! Chug! Chug!

Beatrice Miller is doing this because neither of her moms have jobs right now. Boo, the economy. But yay, they only outfitted Beatrice in about seven layers of trash this week instead of the usual dozens. The giant safety pin earrings alongside the "YOLO" cap were a nice touch -- they let us know that the costumers wouldn't be abandoning the "things we found in a dumpster" motif for Beatrice completely. The judges disagreed on whether Cyndi Lauper's "Time After Time" was a wise choice for Beatrice -- Simon actually preferred her lower register and that she didn't have to push the vocals, while L.A. thought the songs didn't allow her to "peak." But Simon admitted the song was "boring" and went "on and on and on and on and on," prompting Britney to lash out, "She has more talent in her pinky than all of your contestants do combined." Why am I merely amused by this comment, but whenever Demi Lovato sullenly complains that she's bored, I want to yank off her fake high pony?

Lyric 145 decided just last night to take on a mashup of Queen's "We Will Rock You" and Katy Perry's "E.T." I'm not sure why L.A. Reid didn't get how this fit under the "divas" theme. Doesn't he remember how E.T. insisted on wearing a lady shawl and all those flowers, and kept demanding all those long-distance phone calls and bike basket rides? Really lame joke! Anyway, the trio sounded the same as they always do and I thought the two guys flanking Lyric Da Queen provided more theatricality than usual, pulling weight on the alternating verses. L.A. remarked that they'd "lost their way" in the competition even though let's be honest, he barely knows who they are. I liked how after he buzzkilled, "This could be the last time we see you," Da Queen BELLOWED with laughter. (Or will voters find that rude?) She continued to completely ignore Demi's comments that "E.T." didn't fit at all -- opting instead to scream back at audience members, "We love you, too!" To be fair, it's hard to hear anything the judges are saying when the crowd is all excited. Meanwhile, Britney threw down a gauntlet, Britney-style: "They're a hip-hop group; they should be doing hip-hop tracks."

(Still, Britney Spears' commercial for her new moneymaker Fantasy Twist -- 2 fragrances in 1….somehow? -- blows away anything she has done so far on The X Factor.)

Mario said "Lis-ten up, everyone," with a hard t, and I wrote this sentence instead of obeying him. Worth it?

Yes! A showmance I actually buy for once! Arin Ray and Normani Hamilton are too cute with their grade-school flirtation and cutesy pool games inside the CONTESTANTS' MANSION. I almost started crying when they admitted out loud that they would miss each other if one of them went home. Then Arin Ray started singing Madonna's "Crazy For You" and I quickly got back on track with my emotionless ways. I wasn't really feeling the heart in this one, and like Simon said, that could be because asking Arin to take on that song was "like asking a cat to eat a tiger." Demi accused Arin of boring her and of lacking soul. Cat eating tiger sound!

NEXT: And you'll fin'lly see the truth -- L.A. is napping

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