Lord knows, dreams are hard to follow. In time, you'll either find a way to make 'em happen -- or The X Factor will have a random "Divas" theme and you can live 'em out vicariously through tiny teens! It's easier than trying. Let's do it!
Demi's "incredibly talented and very feisty" Jennel Garcia wanted to focus on working the entire stage. The dancer of 12 years video-chatted with students backstage and consulted with her fancy-western coach about what it takes to be a diva. (Lots and lots of midriff-baring fringe.) She lost a note or two at the top of "Proud Mary and I don't know that the vocal ever became that strong. I was suddenly hungry for some long 'n' lean sausages after watching Jennel's burnt sienna leggings scoot around the stage. L.A. Reid had apparently read my mind as he told Jennel, "That smoked." Simon pretended Jennel had done anything different besides go with wavy hair this week, and pronounced her "back in the game." She's having more fun, he said. "It's like a different person." It's really not. She's the same. She's solid. Good stuff. Let's move on.
Mario Lopez pretended he cared about the X Factor app in the control room; then Khloe Kardashian sounded like she was saying "thong action" twice but it was really "thumb action." They're doing awesome. Glad we checked in.
Tate Stevens, the ultimate diva, aimed for the heartstrings with his cover of Shania Twain's "From This Moment." He might want to consider sticking to the love songs from this moment on because ladies love 'em, girls adore 'em, and Tate's eyes look really sweet as they fill with tears. This was the performance of his with which I felt most connected, probably because it was his most blatantly emotional (plus duh, everyone knows this song). His wife Ashlie stood backstage, wondering again if he'd remember her face after leaving it for three minutes. I think he would! "Uggggghhhhh. You were so good," said Demi. She would later say the exact same thing to Carly Rose Sonenclar, the other top-two scorer from last week. Dem's fightin' ughs, Demi!
Diamond White's vocals on Beyoncé's "Halo" weren't as shaky this week as they were on last week's "I Have Nothing," but I still wouldn't call them great. I do agree with Simon though that at 13 -- willing to work and seriously so likable, for realsies -- Diamond does look and sound like someone who could be manufactured into a major star. Can you kind of see it? Like, the minute she turns old enough where it's okay for her to be sexy, she'll suddenly transform into Rihanna? Who knows. Anything is possible. You could peek outside your front door tomorrow morning and find yourself trapped forever by Khloe Kardashian's "everything in the jewelry box, plus a roll of tacky wrapping paper all wadded up" dress. You just never know.
The judges generally approved of Diamond, but Simon warned her to never walk and sing at the same time. That really doesn't bode well for any human, let alone a talent competition contestant....
Khloe interrupted Diamond's good-natured explanation of her alter-ego to announce to zero interested parties that her own alter-ego was named Khlo-money. "You don't wanna see Khlo-money," she warned us. Nooooooooooo we don't.
NEXT: Katy Perry Will Rock You