Turns out there's exactly one way to make an hour-long show with exactly 30 seconds of actual content not feel like a waste of time: invite literal Muppet Kermit the Frog to do a duet with human Muppet Cee Lo Green. The costume! The ad libs! Janice sitting in Christina's big red chair! That all-too-brief glimpse at a Muppetified Cee Lo, who looks like a grown-up Cousin Skeeter! ("Cee Lo is what I want / Cee Lo is what I need.") Can somebody please, please bring back The Muppet Show solely so that Cee Lo -- or just 'Lo, as Kermit calls him -- can keep collaborating with Jim Henson's creations?
Nothing could top that performance of "It's Not Easy Being Green" -- not even Carson revealing that two of season 3's prettiest contenders have been cut. I can sort of understand Cody Belew's ousting; his campy lounge singer schtick isn't for everyone, and his glib overconfidence may have rubbed some viewers the wrong way. But I swear I can still hear the Voicebox's studio audience shrieking for Dez Duron -- where were the Ivy League teddy bear's supporters this week? Yeah, yeah, the show's not called The Cute Face, but it still seemed like Dez's looks would be enough to get the kid into the Top 6, if not the semifinals.
Oh, but wait: According to the coaches, The Voice isn't really about who emerges victorious. Adam thinks the competitors aren't really competing -- wait, what? -- in "this highly unnatural, bizarre competition." Adds Cee Lo, helpfully: "It's like Win, Lose, or Draw.... Everybody wins!" Come on, dude, the word "lose" is in the game's name.
And then there's Christina, who straight up tells the contestants that winning totally doesn't matter: "I didn't win one of these competitions either, but along with Britney and Justin, we went on to dominate pop music, so..." Ah! Don't worry, guys -- you can still get famous without being named The Voice, as long as you also get cast on a TV show when you're 13. Wait, every one of you is at least old enough to drive? Never mind; you're screwed after all.
At least most of you will go down swinging. Trevin and Amanda's disco Lady Gaga cover was kind of a mess, but more stripped-down performances of "Rhythm of Love" and "Hate That I Love You" both hit. In a contest that prizes creative yelling above all else, it's nice to occasionally hear some sweet harmonizing that isn't undercut by flashing screens or dancers wearing Hey Arnold-style shirttails.
NEXT: We're movin' on up, to a deeluxe Sprint holding pen in the skyyy