The Voice recap: Dothraki Girls and Mystery Machine Boys

Three very one-sided battles make for predictable outcomes, but the momentum (and talent) is finally picking up! Celebrate!
Ep. 12 | Aired Apr 1, 2014

THE STORY OF MY LOCKS: Two maned men, Morgan and Stevie, sing a One Direction song and simultaneously make teen girls everywhere swoon over their decadent Garnier Fructis coifs and sultry, red velvet voices.


In the interim, we skip another battle in which Emily B. loses to Kristen Merlin, who we STILL haven’t seen since her audition -- honestly, what gives, Voice!? Is she not worthy of appearing on our television? ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?

Stevie Jo vs. Morgan Wallen 

I thoroughly enjoy Stevie Jo, and even though the clean-cut boy in me is pining for him to get a haircut, he’s grown on me quite a lot over the weeks, much like Kevin Federline grew on me when I thought he might be good for Britney. I was burned, but I have faith that Stevie will lead me to the light. Morgan, on the other hand, hasn’t really registered, and I feel like when he sings, he’s trying harder to put on a false voice and imitate someone with a more natural gravel.

The song at hand is “Story of My Life,” the best One Direction song since the one about the blind girls. Morgan screws up right from the get-go, but the adorable Stevie sounds pitch-perfect and does something interesting with the song. I also make a really weird face during this song because I realize Morgan kind of looks like the ultra-religious lovechild of Shaggy from Scooby-Doo and Patrick Swayze in Point Break.

My vote for this easily goes to Stevie Jo, and Usher makes use of our kindred spirit connection and agrees. In a surprising steal, Adam swoops in to take Morgan, and I wonder what he possibly sees Morgan could add to his team -- but if I trust any coach on this show to make a good, fact-based decision, it’s Adam. I’m interested to see what he comes up with.

That's it for tonight! After next week’s battles close, I’ll be posting my season six Power List -- I ask you, after these two playoffs, who tops your list? Until then, my opinionated commenter friends, let your heated debates rage on!

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