Robert Lee, 29, Bridgeport, AL
Day Job: Mailman!!! He’s a mailman!
I Love Him ‘Cause: He’s a mailman.
Kids: 7-year-old daughter, second wife pregnant with twins
Song: “The Weight” -- The Band
It’s your typical country performance -- nothing too extraordinary, although Robert (E.?) Lee’s facial expressions are looking pretty desperate towards the end. When nobody spins, he’s definitely devastated, but they give him some constructive advice and send him on his way.
Things That Will Stop Him from Singing: Neither snow nor rain nor sleet
Melissa Jimenez, 29, Fort Lee, NJ
Backstory: Singing with her dad Horacio’s band Something Special Orchestra since she was 15
Had a: Record label deal (sang with Wyclef Jean!)
Lost a: Record label deal (thanks a lot, Wyclef Jean)
Song: “If I Ain’t Got You” – Alicia Keys
It’s all a cappella at the beginning, and you can tell Melissa expected someone to turn around right from the get-go. Adam looks like he’s a little stressed about her runs -- they’re not quite there. Oh, but then she starts singing in Spanish and everyone turns the eye towards Shakira, who stares down Usher for the last-minute push. I’m not sure why anybody turned, since Melissa “Everybody Calls Me MJ” wasn’t all that good. Shakira and MJ have what they call a “conversation” in Greek, when really they’re just repeating “Opa!” like it’s 2002 and they just saw the Nia Vardalos movie. When debating her coach choice, MJ says she wants to be molded into “this person” and, obviously, that means…wait, never mind, she picks Team Usher.
Tessanne does a scalp care commercial.
Patrick Thomson, 35, Festus, MO
Once Again, That’s: Festus, MO
Looks Like: Hurley from Lost if he was a paper towel mascot
Song: “Can’t You See” – The Marshall Tucker Band
You know it’s a good audition when the phrase “freight train” is in the first line of the song! Right? Right. Shakira looks to her colleagues for confirmation that he’s good in an Avengers-style tracking shot. Blake goes in for the kill, followed by an ever-smarmy Adam. It’s our first Shelton-Levine Showdown of the season! Adam praises Patrick’s grit (but not grits cause those are gross). Blake makes a very visually stimulating metaphor about gargling with broken glass. At game time, Patrick chooses Team Adam.
Adam Says: “I was trying to pretend I didn’t like you so that no one would turn around.”
More rejects parade through, including Alex “Pitchy" Burt, Skylar “Control is really important” Dayne, and Ricky “Just missing that urgency” Duran.
Allison Bray, 17, Louisville, KY
Origin story: Stumbled into nuclear power plant, discovered incredible mutant voice, saves world and moonlights at Dollywood
Real origin story: Raised in a large Baptist family in the South, sings country music like normal person
Song: “Where The Boys Are” – Connie Francis
Allison thinks she’ll throw the judges off by singing a ‘50s song, even though it’s from 1961 and Deshawn Washington just sang a song from ’63 (but whatev, I’m not judging). Allison’s got a super strong vocal and the look to back it up, if that matters, which it doesn’t since nobody turns. What a damn shame.
Adam Says: “Don’t be sad, please don’t be sad.”
Sisaundra Lewis, 44, Orlando, FL
Grew Up: Picking fruit in orange groves
Former Job: Vocal director for Celine Dion
Number of Plates in Earrings: 18
Song: “Ain’t No Way” – Aretha Franklin
We all knew this was going to be the performance of the night, even before Celine came on videochat to wish Sisaundra luck, and hot damn, it sure was the highlight of the evening. It surprised me that it took so long for Shakira to turn, followed by Adam, Blake, and the perennially hesitant Usher. Frankly, Sisaundra was incredible and they should all be so lucky to have her on their teams. They each lobby, none of them doing particularly well, and in a somewhat interesting move, Sisaundra picks Team Blake, but hey, there have been weirder pairs who have gone on to Voice success.
Blake Says: “How does your ears hold that much weight?”
Did night three reflect a momentum shift in this season's contestants? Anyone in particular you want to rave or rant about? Leave a comment!