TEAM BLAKE: CHRISTIAN PORTER VS. THE SWON BROTHERS
The song: "Won't Back Down" by Tom Petty
The story: Bar singer Christian Porter is having trouble hitting the high notes. You can tell, because every time he wants to aim for the upper register, he inadvertently points to the sky. His finger goes where his voice has never gone before. Sad!
The battle: The brothers Swon play guitar well and harmonize even better. But poor Christian looks so awkward, doing a little heel-toe dance on stage, nodding his head to the beat. He hits the high note this time, but he just can't stop pointing. There goes his finger again. Aim for the stars, little digit.
The feedback: Blake can't decide, because all three of them were halfway decent. "It's always easier if somebody craps the bed," he says. "Blake knows all about crapping the bed," Adam adds, helpfully. "He's an authority on it."
The verdict: "I think it's better for me and whoever I'm working with to stick with what I know," Blake says. "They're Okies, I'm an Okie." The Swon Brothers win. Or, as their mom puts it, "You're the swinners!"
TEAM ADAM: JUDITH HILL VS. KARINA IGLESIAS
The song: "It's a Man's Man's Man's World" by James Brown
The story: Judith used to sing backup for Michael Jackson. Karina's voice is so powerful, Michael Jackson can probably still hear her now. Together, they're two of the best singers here. And just in case you didn't notice, Carson keeps teasing this battle as the best, biggest, most epic craziness of all time! Or something like that.
The battle: Judith's voice is smooth and slinky. Karina's is so strong, her spiky hair shakes when she sings. I could watch these ladies make like human blowdryers and aim a hot stream of notes at each other all night long.
The hyperbole: "That was the best battle I've ever seen on the show!" says Adam. "You two just shook the entire room!" says Usher. "I was freakin' out!" says Blake. "That was just so good!... The only negative thing I'll say is that Adam's really stupid for putting y'all together."
The verdict: Adam picks Judith. "She oozes charisma and confidence," he says. But, luckily, Shakira steals Karina. They hug. Karina punches the air. Her grandmother rolls out in a wheelchair. Fist-pumps all around.
TEAM YOU: YOU VS. THE COACHES
If Judith or Karina doesn't win, I will be the most saddest craziest hyperbole lover in the history of earth. What about you? Who were your favorites tonight? Who got robbed? And who's the most "experienced" singer here? (Oops. Looks like the flask is empty. Sigh.)