Back on stage, our Top 12 has assembled while Carson tells them not to be surprised if he asks them randomly probing questions. Then he asks Vedo a randomly probing question and prefaces it with the revelation that his dead mother is proud of him. Now what would making it further in this competition mean to him?
Let's skip straight to the votes...
America saves: Kris Thomas and The Swon Brothers
It's worth noting that Kris and the Swons aren't necessarily the Top 2, but are just who was saved "first" -- and though neither save is, like, right on, it's understandable, especially given the latter duo's influx of melodic capital from their George Jones cover last night. Regardless, all three are ecstatic while Carson reminds the rest that they are all still at risk because he learned how to host from someone who is very rude.
We return to see Blake has marshaled the "dream team" (his words) to sing "Play Something Country" with a giant jukebox. It's fine but the song is only better-than karaoke bric-a-brac on its best day and Team Blake seems weirdly disparate. Did no one tell them that country is their genre, that they're the stuff Blake's dreamed of? Blake dreams of Danielle Bradberry. The poor girl -- who is a very, very good singer -- is not-not-not a star, not yet. She looks stranded, more than once, on the stage, and ends up far out in the crowd, slapping her hands along to the beat. Danielle's got potential (talented people always do) but Blake's ne plus ultra narrative that she will deliver us has a few holes.
Anyway. It's time for some more not-eliminations:
America saves: Sarah Simmons and Josiah Hawley
Okay, so do we like Josiah now? Because he looks like a shoestring question mark that's only just discovered how to be charming without being concurrently irritating. I guess we like him now. I like him! I want his V-neck.
(As Samantha Highfill said when I told her he was safe: "No.")
Next is Lady Antebellum singing newest single, "Goodbye Town," with assists from Team Adam. If I told you that I loved the performance or the song, I would be lying. But whatever: Lies are less than the sum total of goodwill built up by Lady A letting Sarah, Judith, and Amber actually do something alongside them. Charles Kelly even looked at Amber! Hillary Scott did not. (Amber's voice sounded better than Hillary Scott's.)
Christina Milian sighting: She's up in the skybox talking to the Swons and Kris about being saved. Both would like to thank America. Colton actually blesses America, but he didn't ask America's permission first so we'll ignore it.
NEXT: Idol shade at almost-10 o'clock