Diane and Eli met with LaGuardia trying to figure out why the public integrity division was looking into Eli. LaGuardia played it pretty cool until he was shown the photo of Eli with Kalinda. You could tell how visibly uncomfortable LaGuardia became after he saw the photo. He claimed to have no previous knowledge of the picture, and said if it was from the DOJ that someone had broken the law in giving it to Eli. (And since we know Nick stole it from Lana's apartment, yes, the acquisition of the photograph was definitely illegal.)
LaGuardia then (sorta) came clean about the investigation. He claimed some of Eli's former crisis management clients had recently become donors to his wife's campaign. LaGuardia said he believed Eli might have offered savings to clients in exchanged for contributions to her campaign. Still confident that Eli had done nothing wrong, Diane and Eli met with the accordion-playing Mr. LaGuardia again. This time, he upped the ante: He told Eli he'd drop any charges against him in trade for indiscretions of the candidate. Eli refused to turn on his ex-wife, but he didn't have to. LaGuardia was offering to drop charges in a trade for a proffer on Peter Florrick. This revelation was met with two very emphatic "go to hell's" from Eli and Diane. In retrospect, that was probably not the smartest move on their part. By the episode's end, LaGuardia brought his staff to raid Eli Gold's office. The hard drives, cell phones, everything were all confiscated. That can't be good.
Back on the home front, Alicia discovered a rather interesting saved query while searching Chum Hum: "What are types of condoms?" To say she was shocked would probably be an understatement. Seeking the offender of the PG-13 rated search, Alicia went straight to Zach. She asked her son if they needed to have a conversation about sex, and explained what she found on the computer. But tech savvy Zach couldn't have been the culprit! He knows how to scrub a search cache clean: "Okay thanks. Let's not rub your sophistication in my face, please," Alicia quipped. Zach pointed the blame at the other Florrick child, Grace, who's continued to date bad-boy Connor since we last saw her.
Alicia had an equally awkward conversation with Grace about sex, while Grace's stuffed horse looked on. But after the chat it seemed like Grace was innocent of the "crime" too. Who else did that leave? Later Grace was showing Chum Humming "sex," so I assumed she was the guilty party after all. But leave it to Zach's computer skills to determine the true culprit. It was Jackie!! Ewww.com!! At least it possibly confirms my suspicions that more than just care-taking might be going on with the elder Mrs. Florrick and Cristian. Alicia and Zach hilariously agreed to never speak of that discovery ever again. Can I get in on that pact?
NEXT: Kalinda and Nick say goodbye. Or something like that.