The Carrie Diaries recap: The Secret Garden

Carrie and Sebastian get close but then she goes and sees a really weird performance art thing; Dorrit gets a hamster
Ep. 03 | Aired Jan 28, 2013

YOUR EARRING IS STUCK TO MY HAIR Sebastian (Austin Butler) and Carrie (AnnaSophia Robb) listen to some tunes. 

The CW

And now is where the show took a real weird turn. I sorta get what they were trying to do but I also thought it was kinda icky. So Carrie and Mouse go into the city so that Mouse can meet up with her Princeton boyfriend and Carrie can see Larissa. The Interview magazine editor takes them to an art show where a porn star shows people her vagina for pennies. Yep, five seconds ago we were dealing with stolen hamsters and now we’ve gone full-throttle into Vagina Town. Now these kind of avant-garde gallery openings were definitely part of the DNA of the original Sex and the City. I mean who can forget the weirdo art thing Carrie and Charlotte visited where the lady never went to sleep and the only escape was a ladder made of knives?  That being said, something just felt icky about a slow motion shot of teen Carrie staring at a sex star’s vagina. Maybe it’s just me! Frankly, I’m not the target audience for that kind of show.

Totally unrelated but sort of: I live for everything and anything that Larissa wears. Leopard cape? Yes. Multi-patterned onesie? More please.

I think the weakest part of the show is Carrie’s best gal pals, sadly. I like the actresses but I just can’t really get on board with either of these storylines. Mouse and her Princeton boyfriend are kinda snoozy. I just don’t understand where this is going. And Maggie can be fun but most of this episode revolved around her discussing how tall she is and destroying a stuffed panda bear. Her decimation of the panda was nearly as disturbing as anything on The Following.

By the end, Carrie and Sebastian had broken up because he was freaked out by the fact that she knew about his past. I’m frankly more concerned that his leather jacket looks very present-day, which makes me think he may actually be from the future. It looks very All Saints to me. Anyway, Carrie is single, but the Bradshaw family had a nice little outing to the pet store. I think it was Morrissey who once sang, “Hamsters mend a broken heart.” Or maybe I just made that up.

Follow Tim on Twitter: @EWTimStack

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