The Carrie Diaries recap: The Secret Garden

Carrie and Sebastian get close but then she goes and sees a really weird performance art thing; Dorrit gets a hamster
Ep. 03 | Aired Jan 28, 2013

YOUR EARRING IS STUCK TO MY HAIR Sebastian (Austin Butler) and Carrie (AnnaSophia Robb) listen to some tunes. 

The CW

Well I was MIA last week for The Carrie Diaries, but I’ve returned and am happy to see that the hair is just as big. I like to imagine that when all the hairdryers are blowing on this set, New York is activating auxiliary power à la the twinkle lights in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.

In the first week, AnnaSophia Robb was giving me notes of La Lohan -- but this week I’m also picking up some touches of Hayden Panetierre. I realize I’m describing her likes she’s some sort of teen batch of Pinot Grigio. But she’s very winning and I’m really enjoying her interpretation of Carrie Bradshaw. It’s a tough gig when the previous actor became so iconic in the role, but I think she’s doing a nice job. Also, huge hair.

So Carrie and Sebastian started getting pretty hot and heavy. Well, they at least began meeting in some very lush park and listening to music together. The park looked like Michelle Pfeiffer’s backyard in Wolf. Anyone get that reference? Probably not. But Carrie and Sebastian would share headphones, which I think is the '80s equivalent of a Lady and the Tramp noodle/meatball kiss. But the big twist is that Carrie finds out Sebastian has a rather dirty past: The dude had an affair with his art teacher and that’s why he had to change schools. Turns out Carrie’s dad was his lawyer and that’s why he’s so against her hanging out with Sebastian. Seems like a fair issue to have with the fella.

Meanwhile, Carrie wasn’t the only Bradshaw putting herself out into the dating scene: Papa Bradshaw started playing the widow card and found himself quite popular with the ladies. The first time was when he was shopping for maxi pads for Carrie and some kindly lady helped him decide on a brand. I was mostly distracted by what appeared to be wood-shelving in this drug store. Are they living in Amish country? But also, Mr. Bradshaw should have checked more closely what this stranger took off the pharmacy shelves. What if she grabbed like some rash powder or something? Or some other kind of unpleasant feminine project? Worth looking into, Bradshaw.

Back at the family home, Dorrit, who looks like a cross between Amber Tamblyn and a poltergeist, started developing some strange habits -- big surprise! On one of her rebellious nights out, she encountered a “soulful”  (their words not mine) hamster. Being a troubled youth, she stole the little rascal and kept him in a shoebox in the closet. Naturally Carrie found them while looking for some heels and was not psyched to instead find little Morrissey (named after the musician).

 NEXT: Carrie goes way downtown...like real downtown

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