The team finds that the real plane crash victim’s last internet activity was on a dating website called Meet Up, which is also where Aram “met Phyllis Tuggenberg…and her cankles.” Amir Arison deserves some major recognition for being able to deliver some of the series’ lightest lines while constantly strapped behind a computer.
We finally see the Alchemist again – just a normal, good-looking guy, who happens to know how to change people’s DNA – when the real Catherine Madrczyk storms into his office demanding answers on the whereabouts of her husband and, oh yeah, that jet of hers he crashed into the ground. So, he confirms she didn’t tell anyone about him, gets the name of her husband’s lawyer, and kills her. Next thing we know, this scientist of all trades is showing up to Ressler’s interrogation of Madrczyk wearing a pretty conspicuous plum dress shirt and magenta tie, saying he’s the lawyer’s associate and he needs a moment alone with his client. Ressler buys it and leaves him alone in an unlocked conference room and, you guessed it, the Alchemist kills Madrczyk with some drugged nicotine gum and gets back out of there, no problem.
The photo of the Alchemist they found on the dating site matches an Eric Trettle, who flunked out of med school and then falsified a Harvard degree to become an expert witness in court cases involving DNA evidence (I’m not positive, but I think that might be the plot of Suits). Once he was revealed to be a fraud in court, he left his wife and daughter and began his, uh, alchemy. Family and abandoned children really seem to be a commonly occurring theme on this show considering the Blacklisters Red chooses to go after. The Alchemist's wife tells Lizzie that Eric is highly dangerous and sometimes he comes back to the house under the delusion they’re still a family. As the team races to figure out what a bar code they found in the Alchemists’ burned out car means, he’s already tracked down his next victim and convinced her to share a cab with him. Life tip: Never share a cab with a stranger. It is not worth the extra $10 and it will immediately turn into The Bone Collector up in there. While the Alchemist is kidnapping Mandi the Actress, someone is looking over a profile on Tom – it’s Lucy Brooks! Not dead, apparently.
It’s time for the baby shower to get presents for the baby Tom and Lizzie really shouldn’t be having, and while I would not say that to their faces, Tom's coworkers have no problem judging Lizzie’s plan not to take maternity leave. Tom doesn’t seem to be taking any leave either, so hopefully this is just one of those self-cleaning babies.
They go up to their room to fight about it and out of the bathroom comes Lucy Brooks (Rachel Brosnahan, TV’s go-to seductress these days), introducing herself as Jolene, a substitute teacher from Tom’s school. You know how substitute teachers are always going to staff baby showers in the homes of people they don’t know? Lizzie, the professional profiler, doesn’t seem to thinks it’s weird because she takes a work call and leaves her husband in the bedroom with a very attractive woman who's named after a song literally about having your man stolen out from under you. Next thing you know, she’s hopped up on the counter, telling Tom about a photography exhibit he should take his wife to, where the photographer takes pictures of married men while they’re cheating on their wives. I see what you’re doing, Jolene!