The Real Housewives of Atlanta recap: The Beverly Wilshire Hotel of Lies

Phaedra threatens spousal murder and Kenya continues to plague the Atlanta real estate scene
Ep. 04 | Aired Nov 24, 2013

HAT WRACKED Porsha contemplates the disillusionment of her marriage in her Fedora of Sadness.

Bravo

Nene says she had previously been in favor of them getting back together, but now she’s changed her mind. Nene, I know marriage is kind of a fluid state of being for you and Mr. Gregg, but how many times do I have to say it? #TWITTERDIVORCE

Nene redeems herself by telling Porsha, after she complains about being promised lavish things like private jet shopping trips by Kordell: "This is when it’s really great: when you can put your own self in the jet and throw them the peace sign." And then all of those self-made divas high five across the table, wrists and rings dripping in diamonds. This is why Atlanta is the best.

Porsha tries to apologize for blocking them all out last year and everyone says it’s not necessary. I mean, I might be down for a little bit of the apology considering the level of screaming directed at them in the three-part reunion last year, but don’t kick the pixie-wig when it’s down, I guess. Porsha lifts her glass and says, “Let’s cheers to you all loving me,” and then as a much delayed afterthought, “and me loving you.” Cynthia adds, “Cheers to the new Porsha!” Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

They do one of those mini-scenes in the middle of a commercial break that is literally just 15 seconds of Kenya being amazed at items in a specialty grocery store, included but not limited to: truffle oil, basil, grilling sauce, waffle mix, candles and home fragrance, and mint oil.

Perhaps Kenya was just trying to feel a little lux, because when we return to our regular Bravo viewing, we find Nene wandering down a street to visit Kenya in her new abode, yelling about being in the ghetto as she walks past two Mercedes and BMW on the cleanest Georgia street I’ve ever seen. Nene somehow makes it to the apartment/hotel without being inducted into a gang and Kenya opens the door to reveal a perfectly livable place, if not particularly glamorous. There is an unexplained high-school-bowling-esque trophy on the living room table that’s all I can think about for the whole clip.

Luckily, Nene has come there specifically to rescue Kenya from the land of white refrigerators like Richard Gere in Pretty Woman. While they drive to meet her realtors, Nene does some casual oil blotting in the car and asks Kenya about the man she apparently met in Nigeria. Kenya says, "My African king spoils me like a queen. Of course, because I am a queen." Kenya is rarely charming, but she is her least charming self when she’s making puns. Nene starts imitating Kenya’s boyfriend and Kenya gets offended, asking if she’s thinking of Coming to America. Kenya’s main mission this season seems to be cluing us in on her working knowledge of IMDb.

Deborah and Bonneau (real names) show Kenya around a perfectly beautiful and outlandish condo, but Kenya insists she couldn’t live in anything less than 5,000 sq. feet. Girl, in three episodes, we’ve seen you go to court for eviction, have to move out of your rental house and you’re now living in a hotel with a white refrigerator. It might be time to escort yourself down from that high horse. Nene doesn’t think she’s sold enough booty DVDs for the penthouse anyway, so better luck next time, perhaps.

NEXT: Will Phaedra kill Apollo with that damn steak knife?


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