The Real Housewives of Atlanta recap: The Beverly Wilshire Hotel of Lies

Phaedra threatens spousal murder and Kenya continues to plague the Atlanta real estate scene
Ep. 04 | Aired Nov 24, 2013

HAT WRACKED Porsha contemplates the disillusionment of her marriage in her Fedora of Sadness.

Bravo

Porsha has decided it’s time to go visit her therapist again, whom she last visited with That Jerk Kordell. We get a flashback of that visit and realize that both Porsha and Dr. Blake are wearing almost the exact same thing this time, which is fine for Dr. Blake because she looks good in green, but bad for Porsha because it means she’s worn that unfortunate fedora more than once.

As always, it’s hard to trust a doctor who chooses to let her sessions be televised on the Bravo network, but Dr. Blake seems to have some solid insight. She says it sounds like Porsha was playing a role when she was last there, as well as in her marriage, and an inexplicable Gong of Truth clangs in the background to alert us that Porsha is having an important realization.

After Porsha tells her about the finances in her marriage, Dr. Blake asks what she probably thinks is a rhetorical question: “Did you really have a husband? Or did you have a father?” Apparently Kordell’s fatherly tendencies – you know, how your father’s always withholding money from you and not letting you have a family? – are what attracted her to him in the first place. Ick. Dr. Blake, purveyor of truth, says, “You don’t sleep with your father.” This is going well.

Porsha wonders why Kordell ever even married her; Dr. Blake asks why she married him. GONG! She wanted a husband and a family. But apparently, Kordell wasn’t giving her the stuff to make a family. Remarkably, this is the only time in the episode that Porsha hints Kordell doesn’t like having sex with ladies, so that's a marked improvement. Dr. Blake wraps of her Lesson in Realness by suggesting that if Porsha wants to “get Kordell out of [her] system,” maybe she should, uh, take off her wedding ring. Doctors: They don’t go to those 18 extra years of school for nothin’!

Nene, whose preferred form of medicine is high end department store shopping, has come outfitted in a Canadian tuxedo to rescue Cynthia from bed rest. Apparently, pre-fibroid surgery, they were having trouble shopping together: “Cynthia was bleeding everywhere! Saks, Neimans…” Goodness gracious, Nene. While she tries to convince Cynthia to do some retail therapy, Kandi calls to let them know that Porsha is having a tough time with her divorce and could do with a good old fashioned producer-mandated-dinner with the girls. Cynthia says she’s never been through a divorce, but she imagines it’s terrible. Cynthia, just imagine being married to Peter and then…no, that’s it, that’s all you have to do.

Cynthia tells Nene no shopping for her, she just took a pill and she needs to go to sleep. Nene responds the same way any of us would: “You ain’t got to tell me twice, I hope your pill kicks right the hell in!” Nene does not say a single thing tonight that doesn’t end in an exclamation point, and that is the very best kind of Nene.

NEXT: Stay tuned for the blow-by-blow

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