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WHAT BECOMES OF THE BROKENHEARTED? Desiree comes to grips with her happily never after.
Brooks is hoping his sister and mom can help him clear up some of that confusion, so he pops by his mom's house for a heart-to-heart before heading to Antigua for the "exotic" date. And to be honest, the guy does seem truly vexed; as soon as he sits down he begins rambling to his mom and sister about how he's been debating everything "over and over" and that he's "actually having a difficult time" after the hometown date. "The idea of me proposing to her at the end of this makes me really uncomfortable," he admits. "And when asked, 'Well do you love Desiree?' I really shy away from that question. And I feel like, why can't I answer that without feeling like I'm, um, like, mis-saying how I feel?"
Let's stop the tape right here and just state the obvious: Brooks is not in love with Des. He knows it and Team Bachelorette knows it, but both parties don't want to admit it. Even so, we've all been burned too many times to believe that he's actually not going to go through with the overnight date, and most likely the proposal as well... haven't we? I mean, this is a classic Team Bachelorette set-up! Brooks' mom is literally telling him right now not to propose if he has "any doubt," and Brooks himself just admitted that "a hard conversation now is a lot better than a horrible one later," and that he's "not prepared" to propose to Desiree or even say he loves her. All of this must mean that Brooks does, in fact, get down on one knee and all of this drama has been a big 'ol red herring -- right??
We're going to have to wait to find out, unfortunately, because all of a sudden we're back in Antigua and it's time for Chris' date. Today's sightseeing, however, will happen by helicopter -- and even though Chris insists that he and Des "are literally on top of the world right now," the chopper flies them at a norm height to the island of Barbuda. Fruit picnic, chit-chat, and making out in the surf follow. At dinner Chris confesses to Des that this "journey" has been "two of the best months that I've had -- ever," as a chorus of jungle creatures chirp in approval. Things turn awkward almost instantly, though, as the topic of where Des and Chris would live rears its necessary head. "I found a job that I really like, and I feel like there could be a lot of opportunity for me in Seattle," begins Chris. "How do you feel about moving to Seattle?" Um... not good, actually. California is "where I belong," says Des, but love is about "sacrifice" to "make things work." In other words, the Bachelorette will give your rainy seaside town some lip service while the cameras are on, Chris, but if you put a ring on it at the proposal platform next week, you'd better stock up on some SPF 50.
The evening ends with hand-holding and moony gazes across the table, until Des pulls the Fantasy Suite card out of nowhere. ("Where did you put that?" jokes Chris.) Of course Chris says yes to the "opportunity" to "spend more time" with Des in a "relaxed" way with "no expectations." Well, maybe not no expectations, because I'm sure most of us expected that before the night was through Chris would recite yet another poem to the Bachelorette -- which, of course, he does. After that, it's hot tub time -- and that's your cue, Team Bachelorette. Scram!
NEXT: "Brooks, what is wrong?"