PORTRAIT OF THE SUITOR AS A YOUNG MAN Des ponders her final four choices in the "deliberation room" before sending one guy home.
After dinner, the Bachelorette sits down with Mal for a heart-to-heart. "Do you believe in angels?" he asks her. Affirmative. "Have you ever met one?" Negative. "Yes you have," continues Mal. "Melissa. She taught us things as a family that we would have never ever been able to learn without her… I think Drew anted you to know that about him, and I think that's what you guys picking up Melissa was about." (Must... not... cry...) Meanwhile, Drew clasps hands with his mom and reveals that he's ready to propose to Des. Linda responds with a hug, and it seems that Mal is on board, too: "If you want to marry this girl," he tells Drew, "I'll throw a party." Unfortunately, the rest of Drew's family will not be getting a chance to speak on camera, because before we know it Drew is leading Des out to the waiting SUV and making the most of their goodbye. "I love you," he says. "I want you a part of my life." (Uh oh, Brooksy -- are your ears burning? Now you're the only guy who hasn't dropped the l-bomb. Game on, wolf boy!)
Welcome to McMinnville, Oregon, rose lovers! Chris -- decked out in a blue flannel shirt in a nod to the crispy McMinnville weather -- greets the Bachelorette in a lush green park with smooches, hugs, and a little sprig of flowers. Soon enough they're both wearing blue and white baseball tees and tossing balls and cutesy puns ("You're a catch!") back and forth. During batting practice, Des pegs several line drives in a row, leaving Chris giddy. "She didn't tell me she can hit!" he raves. "This is perfect!"
Now all Chris needs is for his family -- who apparently all hated his last girlfriend -- to agree that Des is The One. They seem ready enough to oblige, as Chris' dad George begins dinner with a toast: "Here's to the ones that I love, here's to the ones that love me, here's to the ones that love those that I love, and to those that love those who love me." Also, here's to the ones who practice a pseudo-medicine called chiropractic, including George himself. "Would you like to come get adjusted?" he asks Des, who clearly wants to say no but can't bring herself to decline. George's heart is in the right place -- "This treatment promotes clarity," he explains -- but you've gotta wonder why Chris didn't pull his pops aside and ask him to wait a few dates before groping his intended's spinal cord in the basement. "Laying down face first with my butt in the air, with Chris' dad who I just met massaging my back -- it's not weird at all," jokes Des. "I really enjoy getting my back aligned, but I really do want to talk to him about his son."
Eventually she gets her chance, and but George's conversation with his son is way more interesting. "How about the situation where -- in terms of the way you eat, the way you take care of yourself from a health standpoint?" he asks Chris, who casually lies down on the table while assuring his dad that Des also treats her body like a temple. George then proceeds to shove a balloon up his son's nose and perform some kind of ridiculous chiropractic quackery. "It may look a little awkward," admits Chris. "But that's how we talk." (Fair enough, but I could have done without the booger-cam, Team Bachelorette.)
NEXT: "Fireworks in our face"