Speaking of WWJD moments... back at the Hotel Fahrvergnugen, Drew and Kasey are regaling Chris and Brooks with some disturbing news. It seems that on the way home from the group date, James and Mikey had a very frank conversation in the car while they thought Kasey and Drew were asleep. James allegedly told his fellow Chicagoan that after they're both booted from the show, he can introduce Mikey to "tall, good-looking women who have a lot of money," and that the two of them can head out on Mikey's boat to have "intimate settings" with girls. (Drew's words. I'm pretty sure James used slightly more evocative language.) But here's the real sin: According to Drew and Kasey, James' real goal is to become the next Bachelor. (Good God, please no.) And Drew, who hasn't had much to do so far this season other than look pretty in the background, is ready to step into the spotlight. "When Des comes in tonight, I have no problem stepping forward -- I have to tell her exactly what Kasey and I overheard," he declares.
Let's put a pin in that delicious mental image for a second and return to the two-on-one date, which has now reached the dinner-at-the-uncomfortably-small-table stage. Michael, who clearly has a superhuman tolerance for awkwardness, jumps right in and begins grilling Ben about why he doesn't get along with anyone in the house. Ben demurs ("I'm here to get to know you," he tells Des) and the Bachelorette tries to steer the conversation somewhere -- anywhere -- else. "I mean, I don't want that to be the main focus, just him not being able to get along with people," she mumbles. "I mean, I can also talk about that later." Still, Michael -- perhaps fueled by those tiny glasses of wine -- will not let it go. When Ben tells Des that he hopes to bring his future family to church every Sunday, Michael boorishly butts in, "But what about Easter, Ben? You didn't go to church on Easter... Every other guy was there actually, of the group, except you. I thought that was odd."
Though his rage is clearly building, Ben -- a WASP through-and-through -- swallows it to the best of his ability. But then Michael takes one more dig ("You didn't talk to your son on Easter?") and Ben has to tap out and take a breather outside. Desiree shoots Michael a pointed, What. The. F---? glare, but it's only when she tells him point blank "it makes me uncomfortable when you have to question so aggressively" that Michael finally realizes he's coming across like a major d-bag. "I know that a f---ed up," he sighs. "I feel like my chances of getting a rose tonight have gone up in flames."
Eventually Desiree goes outside to check on Ben, who expertly plays the hand Michael dealt him. "I've never had anyone question my faith like this. I've never had someone question me as a father, and it's hard," he murmurs with practiced earnestness. "This wasn't my ideal date, but I want to spend time with you." Though Des isn't completely clueless ("For Ben to be the outcast in this wonderful, amazing group of guys -- that says something"), she still believes he has good intentions. As Des leads Michael into the wine cellar/dungeon, he knows he has one last chance to change her mind.
NEXT: "Where are we getting drunk tonight?"