Other than all the unintentional double entendres, Chris and Andi's date is pretty tame. (Ghosts in the Graveyard in broad daylight? Zzzzzz...) The episode is far from over, but the Bachelorette can't help but telegraph her decision-making process in her confessional: "To me the Fantasy Suite isn't just another date—it means a lot more to me than that. And I'm still not sure that Chris and I are at that point yet." Especially if spending the night with him brings her one step closer to living in Iowa—an idea that Andi is beginning to panic about. "I feel like I'm at a crossroads with you," she admits to Chris. "There's a struggle between, like, seeing, like, what an amazing person is right in front of me, and then, like, also being unsure about it." Chris is all, Are you giving me the boot? It sure sounds like it, bro.
Indeed, Andi's voice begins its climb up the octave range as she tearfully owns up to her lack of feelings for Chris. "I can't feel the same things that you're feeling," she sobs. "I could sit here and blame it on Iowa, and I could take the easy way out I guess and say I can't see myself in Iowa, which is partly true, but..." You get the point, Farmer Chris. She no likey you that way. Gallant to the end, Chris rubs Andi's shoulder soothingly. "I'm incredibly disappointed, but I get it," he says sadly. "I want your feelings to be for me—and if they're not, I want to go home."
Okay, now I get what all the "Chris for the Bachelor!" fuss is about. He may have a bad temper, he may use the phrase "Alls I want" way too often, and he may live in Iowa—but that, rose lovers, was a classy goodbye. Fare thee well, good sir. Perhaps we'll see you in January.
[Insert totally unnecessary rose ceremony here]
And we're down to the final two! Who will it be—the "intense" and "passionate" Nick or the "goofy" and "giddy" Josh? We'll find out in two weeks' time. So, rose lovers, are you pleased with Andi's last suitors standing? Do you want Chris be the next Bachelor? And should Andi see a therapist about her bed-wetting history? Post your thoughts now! Be sure to check out Chris Harrison's exclusive blog over on PopWatch. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to stitch "No Horses, No Distractions" on a throw pillow.