The Bachelorette recap: Three's a crowd

Andi brings a trio of potential husbands to the Dominican Republic—but only two of them make it to the Fantasy Suite.
Ep. 09 | Aired Jul 14, 2014

"WILL YOU ACCEPT THIS FAUXSE?" Andi puts her final two men through a totally pointless rose ceremony.

ABC

The next day, Andi meets Josh in Santo Domingo, and once again she's armed with her internal checklist. "He's said that he is falling in love, which is great—but at this point, I don't know, I might need a little more than that." Hear that, Josh? It's all well and good to pick up a bottle of Mamajuana to help you "function" in the fantasy suite, but Andi really wants you to find an elixir to plump up your emotional intelligence. In a shocking turn of events, though, Josh tells the Bachelorette exactly what she wants to hear before the date is even half over. "I've wanted to tell you I do love you," he confesses. "I've never said that to somebody before that I really meant it." (Sorry, all of Josh's previous girlfriends!)

Still, fretful is Andi's resting state, so she heads into dinner nursing fears that Josh may not be "serious" enough to get married and have kids. Pshaw, says the former "pro" baseball player. If crashing that local little league game a few hours ago taught Josh anything, it's that he and Andi will be great parents with a "fun household" full of kids. "I can be difficult," admits the Bachelorette, stating the painfully obvious. "You've already been difficult with me!" Josh retorts. (Oh, I'm sorry—but the correct answer is, "You're challenging.") Keep brushing off all of Andi's concerns, Josh—it's not going to stop her from wondering Did I really come all this way to choose a jock from Atlanta—the exact type of guy I vowed not to pick? Short answer: Yes. Give him the damn card already; Josh wants some "her and I" time in the pool.

After all the fuss over Nick's struggle to say "I love you" and Josh's effort to prove that he's ready for marriage, it's hard to imagine what the conflict narrative for Chris' date will be. Whether or not he uses too much hair product to be a farmer? Regardless, it seems like Team Bachelorette is setting Chris up to fail: His date with Andi takes place at a farm that's literally named "Danger Ranch." It definitely wasn't the Bachelorette's choice; I'd bet money she looks more comfortable in the middle of a pelvic exam than she does on top of that poor horse. "What's happening? Why is he trotting? Whoa whoa WHOA!" she shrieks, as the beast tries to outrun the awkwardness of the situation. "I'm gonna be sore tomorrow," she tells Chris after the ride. I was praying he'd respond with, "Yeah you are!"—but he's too much of a gentleman. (Of course, he does tell Andi, "I loved when you just hopped on my lap and went to town"—but he was talking about their tractor ride back in Iowa.)

NEXT: "I feel like I'm at a crossroads with you"

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