Nick's solution? A combination of evasion and flattery. "I feel incredibly fortunate to have the connection that we have," he tells the Bachelorette. "It is hard to imagine anyone else having that with you... When I see you, I see someone who will make me a better person." Oh God, is he going to start improvising more stanzas of his hideous poem from last week? Thankfully, no—this is all just a lead-up to the big finish: "I can confidently say I am definitely falling in love." And she LOVES it. With that, the date rose makes the short trip from its little tray to Nick's lapel.
The next day, Andi wakes up to note number three from the PA who should have been writing the date cards her secret admirer, so she decides to kill two birds with one stone on the group date. She leads the guys to the Castello Di Monselice and announces that today's activity will be all about honesty (but don't worry, it's inadmissible in a court of law): It's lie detector test time, y'all! Andi has enlisted "two of Italy's finest experts" in the art of administering polygraph tests, which really should put them at ease given the stellar reputation of the Italian justice system. Still, Chris is nervous. "There's something I've been hiding from her," he confesses. "I had a plan to tell her, but I didn't really want to have it come out during a lie detector test."
As a show of good faith, Andi goes first. (She answers yes to all the interrogator's questions, including—what the hell?—"Is Italy your favorite country in the world?" Way to pander, lady.) Then it’s the guys' turn. Here's a quick summary of the most scandalous things we learned:
Josh: Once cheated on a test.
Marcus: Prefers brunettes over blondes.
Dylan: Slept with more than 20 women and doesn't wash his hands after going to the bathroom. Which one's worse? Hard to say—but either way he's dirty. (Coincidentally enough, Dylan's unsanitary ways are catching up with him: He pulls Andi aside to say he's got some sort of stomach bug and needs to go back to the hotel. Karma—and the fecal-oral route—is a bitch, bro.)
And, oh yeah, Chris is Andi's secret admirer. That's the secret he's been keeping? Oh Lord, who cares. Dylan is Patient Zero! At least Chris can take comfort in knowing that he's not the only one who's been creative with the truth. Once the results are tallied, the bald man reports that only three guys were completely honest on their tests – one guy, meanwhile, lied twice, and two guys lied thrice. Even Andi is alleged to have fibbed two times, a revelation that delights the guys immensely… until they learn that the machine says she doesn't believe all the guys are there for the Right ReasonsTM.
Naturally, though, Andi decides to tear the results of the guys' tests up rather than reading them because she wants all of her potential husbands to know she trusts them. I find this extremely upsetting—now Andi may never learn the truth about Dylan's disgusting bathroom habits!
[Insert shot of Cody and Nick uncomfortably sharing a sauna together here]
At the cocktail party, Brian takes the lead, literally and figuratively, by stealing Andi away and then administering a cutesy lie-detector test of his own, one that includes the all-important question: "Do you want to make out?" When Andi demurs, Brian gets all Perry Mason on her ass: "You're lying!" They make out.
NEXT: Josh pouts, Chris hulks out, and Cody gets his moment