The Bachelorette recap: French Dissing

The guys enjoy the beautiful city of Marseille by calling each other racist and/or arrogant.
Ep. 05 | Aired Jun 16, 2014

WHAT'S MIME IS YOURS: Andi and JJ dance in awkward silence, just like a real married couple.

What a difference a week off makes -- am I right, rose lovers? (I refuse to acknowledge last week's clip special.) I feel so refreshed, for a moment -- my hand to God -- I actually forgot who the Bachelorette was. My thought process went something like this: Desiree? No, that was last time. Jillian? That was like three seasons ago -- what is wrong with you? Ohhhh, wait. It's the other brunette.

And voila! We're in Marseille, stop one on the Andi Dorfman Perfect Place to Fall in Love TourTM. The first date card is written in French, and since it's for Josh I'm guessing it translates to "We can make out on this date as long as you promise not to make that weird face." But first, Andi must endure the third degree from Chris Harrison -- who's totally rocking the blazer-over-Gorton's-Fisherman-sweater look -- at a charming sidewalk café. "Are you falling in love?" he presses. "Stop," she teases. "Don't ask me that." (Betch, what else is he supposed to ask you?)

Andi's objective on her date with Josh is to "dig deeper" to see if there's more to him than "insane," overpowering sex appeal. And while Josh is not the sharpest knife in the drawer, he knows he has something to prove with Andi -- and during the sailing portion of their date he tells her that he quit baseball because he wants a family. "And then you went to football," she scoffs. Then they make out. Later Josh tells Andi his five years in baseball were tough because he wasn't as "mentally strong" as he is now -- let's pause to let that sink in, shall we? -- and assures the Bachelorette that she doesn't need be careful around him.

Before they can start making out again, though, the action cuts back to the hotel. It seems JJ has some very important information about Andrew that he needs to relay to Marquel: "He was standing next to me at the first rose ceremony, and he, like, nudged me after Ron got his rose. He goes, 'Wow, like, she gave it to the two blackies.' Like, literally verbatim." Or, perhaps not so literally. "I heard 'blackies' -- maybe he said 'black guys,'" JJ clarifies to Team Bachelorette later. Still, he adds, "I wasn't that drunk."

Either way, Marquel feels "disrespected," "angry," and most of all, hurt. "Sometimes, no matter how you treat a person, they ... they just have this ... this idea of you," says Marquel, his voice thickening with emotion. "It would be nice to ... not be seen as, just, 'Hey, this is a black guy.' But I guess that's what it is."

We interrupt this authentic, moving moment exemplifying the complexities of race relations in modern-day America to bring you the end of the pretty white folks' date. They've relocated to the Longchamp Palace, and Andi's still really worried that her connection with Josh is nothing more than physical. "We've never really gotten into a really, really deep conversation," she confesses. "I think that's what I'm trying to get to tonight." Honey, unless you're looking to have a serious conversation about a deep fly ball to center field, I think you're out of luck.

NEXT: "I've got my mime on my money and my money on my mime"

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