'The Bachelorette' recap: Dropping the Ball(s)

Once everyone has recovered from Brian's full-frontal assault, they gather in the living room to hear Harrison read the results of the Unpopularity Vote. Third runner-up is Julien, followed by Dave — while Juan, of course, is the winner. (Or loser, I guess.) Just like last season, though, the whole thing is a total tease. Jillian, Harrison explains, can save Juan by giving him a rose — which she does. (At this point I'm hoping the producers will take a restraining order out on Dave, so he doesn't smother Juan with a pillow in the night.)

At the rose ceremony, Jillian calls Jesse's name first; I guess telling Jillian that he chose her over an extended trip to Italy was a smart move. Miraculously, Tanner P(ervert) gets a rose, despite the fact that Jillian now knows about his ''obsession.'' And though he was majorly cockblocked by Wes, Robby manages to squeak by with a boutonniere. Unfortunately, the ''final rose tonight'' did not go to my new favorite, Simon, but instead to Brad, Mr. ''Brains of the Operation.'' (Cheerio, Simon, ol' chap!) On the plus side, Captain Douchebag got his walking papers — perhaps, as he put it, because his pool antics revealed that he's ''hung like a light switch.'' (Shrinkage, you know.) And finally, Mathue and Julien — who, frankly, never made much of an impression — took the long lonely stroll out of Casa Bachelorette. Cheer up, guys — maybe you can have consolation sex with the bartender at the sequester hotel.

Okay, rose fans, speak up — what did you think about tonight's episode? Is Dave's rage out of control? Why in God's name does Jillian keep giving Tanner P(ervert) roses? And is Wes there for the ''right reasons,'' or is he an opportunistic liar? The fun doesn't have to stop once you've posted your comments! Don't miss Chris Harrison's exclusive blog on PopWatch — this week, he answers your questions and explains that whole wet driveway situation from the season premiere. And check out the latest episode of Must List Live, in which Dalton Ross and Jessica Shaw debate the merits of the Bachelorette's many suitors.  Now, ladies and gents, let's talk Bachelorette!

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