Women, take your seats! Looking around, not much has changed. Lucy's still as free-spirited as ever, Molly hasn't aged a day, and the conversation immediately jumps to how handsome Juan Pablo is. And that accent? Ugh. Renee claims she doesn't remember a thing from her first encounter, but Kelly says she was worried that Molly didn't like him when she walked right past him. Oh, Kelly. Where have you been the past few weeks? Well, for one, a beauty salon. She's looking glam.
Just like that, Chris gives us our first montage of the night: You might love him, you might not. But we can all agree that "Juan Pablo definitely has his moments." And by moments, we mean he's hot. He's sexy. He has an accent. He plays soccer. He's hot. He dances. He's sexy. He kisses a lot of women. And he's hot.
BUT, being attractive isn't enough. As Andi puts it, "At the end of the day, those looks can fade, and you need something more than that." The women seem to agree that a lot of the questions Juan Pablo asked them were "surface-level." More specifically, he didn't really ask them about, well, them. And for Cassandra, she claims that all they did was talk about their kids, and she wanted more. Okay, I'm going to stop there, because Cassandra is the definition of what Chris calls a "sour grape." She got dumped, and now she seems to be all about being negative. It's not a good look, honey. Neither is complaining about how he talks about daughter (no matter what she really meant).
And when Lauren -- who were you again? -- tries to jump in by saying that Juan Pablo wasn't genuine, Kelly calls her out on how she was "very into him" while they were at the house. And yes, Kelly does think there are some sour grapes in the room tonight. Andi delivers the closing argument by saying that she thinks Juan Pablo did want to find someone, but "his version of what he was trying to find was different than ours." According to her, Juan Pablo wanted a girlfriend, and they all wanted a husband (but not the same one; well, not at the same time).
Things quickly progress to the besitos talk. Once again, Kat is very vocal. Is someone making a ploy to be the next Bachelorette or something? I think so. And no, it's not working. Kat mentions how Juan Pablo kept talking about trying to be "fair," right before he'd change "every rule that he makes." For lack of a better word, that statement seems fair to me. However, when Kelly mentions using his daughter as an excuse, Chris warns her about being careful with the kid card. Kelly's comeback: "He didn't say 'Camila' whenever he was in the ocean." Damn, this girl is good.
After the kid card's played, Renee discusses how she was treated differently, which is when Kat strikes back! She too loves "our two moms," but it was hard to hear him call them his "special ones." If he wants to be "fair," he should cut the word "special" out of his vocabulary. I see what you're saying, but please, don't cut any English words out of Juan Pablo's vocabulary. (Except for maybe "awesome.") So why did he kiss Cassandra but not Renee? Well, because he was sexually attracted to Cassandra, says Kelly. And Chris uses that to allow the elephant in the room to let out a mighty roar -- do elephants roar? What do the girls think about Clare and Juan Pablo's swim in the ocean?
Kat and Andi were her roommates, and they had no idea. Nor did they really care. The women seem to agree that the dip in the hot tub from earlier in the night was "way more disrespectful" than the ocean swim. But does anyone approve of how Juan Pablo handled the post-swim situation? NO. "I think he had a case of buyer's remorse," Sharleen says. "He didn't man up the way he should have." The women agree that he was just as much to blame, or in Sharleen's case, "I think more." And once again proving this might be the sanest house of women this show has ever seen, no one blames Clare. As Andi puts it, "Clare went out on a limb. He willingly participated. If it was our opportunity, and I had the connection that Clare had with him, I would've done the same thing." Can someone get me a glass of
wine water? I'm not used to this kind of normalcy.
NEXT: Sharleen's in the hot seat!