Now that the floodgates are open, though, Andi's not even trying to stem the tide of her rage. "Do you have any idea, like, what religion I practice? What my political views are?... Do you have any idea about how I want to raise my kids?" (No, no, and no.) "I've never been with someone who's asked me so little about myself." Okay, Andi, we get it. And I'm sure all of your complaints are valid. But you're way too smart to pretend that all of this is coming as a shock. If you want a pizza, you don't call Baskin Robbins -- and if you want to find a guy with more emotional depth than a salt-shaker, you sure as hell don't call Mike Fleiss. Okay? Okay.
They argue in circles for awhile, until eventually they're both sick of each other's voices, and decide the only thing left to do is take a solemn walk to the Reject Minivan. "She's a lawyer. I'm not going to argue with a lawyer," says Juan Pablo. See Andi? At least he knows one thing about you! Once in the van, Andi continues ranting about Juan Pablo's lack of human emotions -- and she's still going as Harrison escorts Clare and Nikki to the now-pointless rose ceremony. The two "ladies" (who, by the way, still refuse to look at each other) are stunned to learn that Andi's gone -- especially Nikki, who will miss her friend. "We're, like, kind of like the same person," she explains. "But not in this case. I want to be here."
We're down to the final two, mofos! Who's it going to be -- the blonde nurse with the nasty streak, or the dark blonde hairstylist who always seems one step away from bawling and/or clawing your eyes out? I also want to know: Is Andi a Bachelor hero, or is she just playing the victim? And would you ever want to see her as the Bachelorette? I'll admit next week's Women Tell All special looks promisingly "dramatic" -- especially when Andi admits that in the Fantasy Suite she just closed her eyes and thought of England. (Side note: Is it really fair to call this "the most controversial season of The Bachelor ever"? What about Mesnick's mate-and-switch? Or Womack 2.0?) Post your thoughts and predictions now! Also don't forget to head over to PopWatch to check out Chris Harrison's exclusive blog, which covers both the hometown dates and tonight's Fantasy Suite extravaganza. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to disappear into the sand like a ghost crab.