The Bachelor recap: Fight and Flight

One "lady" leaves of her own volition, while Clare and Nikki take their cold war to Defcon 2.
Ep. 07 | Aired Feb 17, 2014

BEACH BLANKET HIMBO: Juan Pabs presents the episode's only date rose.

Then she cries, and as weird as Juan Pablo's habitual, semi-panicky "don't cry because of me" reaction is, he does follow it with an impressively mature, graceful statement. "Here, even though it's not easy, you get to know yourself better," he tells Sharleen. "And you get to see if you're prepared, and what you're not prepared for." Even though he's probably severely bummed, Juan Pablo tries to make Sharleen feel better by making a little joke: "The only thing that pisses me off is you did not sing enough for me." And with that, they hug and part ways. Juan Pablo manages to keep it together until the confessional, where he chokes up talking about how much respect he has for Sharleen. "You have to have guts to be honest in this situation," he says, wiping away tears.

Well, you know what that means, rose lovers: Three-way scrum for Sharleen's hometown slot! (Nikki's a shoe-in, right?) The next day, Andi, Chelsie, Clare and Nikki pile into a pontoon plane with Juan Pablo for a group-date beach outing. The pressure's on, because the one "lady" who gets the date rose will be treated to a "special" evening with Juan Pabs later that night. Chelsie kicks off the campaigning by reading some letters her mom gave her before she left -- including one that advises her to "keep your clothes on" -- and the Bachelor appreciates her "happy vibe." Andi, on the other hand, has more of a weepy vibe during her alone time with Juan Pabs. "Get ready for a breakdown," she warns, before breaking down about how "vulnerable" she feels. What if, she asks Juan Pablo, she introduces him to her family and then things don't "work out"? Seeing as there's a 75 percent chance that that's exactly what will happen, there's not a whole lot the Bachelor can say to make her feel better... so he smooches her.

Clare cries during her chat with Juan Pablo, too, but they're tears of longing for her late father. She reminds Juan Pabs about the message her dad recorded for her future husband before he passed away, and then tells Team Bachelor, "I would love it if Juan Pablo would be the man watching that video." (Listen up, guys: If we don't see that video before the season's out, that is some serious bulls---.) Naturally, Clare is severely irked when Andi gets the date rose. "The people who are standing out, and who are getting these roses, are the people that are doubting themselves -- are not here for him," she fumes, before climbing back into the plane and demanding, "Let's f---ing wrap this s--- up and go home!"

No doubt adding to Clare's anger is the knowledge that Andi and Juan Pablo will be spending the whole evening together... which begs the question: Where did Andi pack her red minidress? Or did some PA have to carry a sexy nighttime get-up for each "lady" so no matter who got the date rose, she'd all be prepared? (Oh Bachelor logistics, how you confound me!) Juan Pabs takes Andi to a club called Bamboo, where they dance to the sexy Latin stylings of Romeo Santos. Wow, what a fun night! I wonder how the other "ladies" are doing...

NEXT: "Clare is like a dog"

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