Despite the moratorium on kissing, Andi manages to make her one-on-one time entertaining by teasing Juan Pablo about his dancing skillz (or lack thereof): "Look, I didn't see some great moves from you today," she tells him after the Bachelor playfully calls her a "terrible" dancer. "Escuse me? Escuse me?" he replies with mock indignation... but he's loving it. "My sense of humor is hard to get," he tells Team Bachelor. "Andi gets it." You know who doesn't get it? Lauren. She pulls Juan Pabs aside for a private dance, but it's really just an excuse for her to wrap her arms around his neck and attempt to mash her lips on his. Despite her efforts, though, the Bachelor leans away and tells Lauren that he must remain chaste tonight for his daughter's sake. The only problem? Lauren knows that Juan Pabs' tongue has visited many mouths in the last few weeks, including Chelsie's, Nikki's, Cassandra's, Sharleen's, Andi's, and Clare's. So what's a girl to think? Well, this: "It makes me feel like he isn't interested," a tearful Lauren confesses.
Hey, camera operator No. 12! You're falling down on the job! Lauren is over there in the corner sobbing in front of Juan Pablo and we need some tape of it right now -- chop chop! "I know that you've, like, kissed other girls," Lauren sniffles. "I hate hearing that."
(Hmmm... what possible way could you have avoided this situation, honey? Is there some kind of, I don't know, life choice that would have prevented you from watching the guy you want to date kiss a bunch of other chicas? It's quite the dilemma.) Of course Juan Pablo feels "horrible" about it, and he comforts Lauren with a long hug and murmured suggestions that she trust her gut. The "ladies," watching all of this from afar, can't decide if they're pleased or dismayed by this development. "Oh, they're hugging!" cries Andi gleefully, while Renee (?) moans, "Oh crap, they're hugging and walking."
Not for long if Clare has anything to say about it; she grabs Juan Pabs for some one-on-one time, while Kelly and Andi turn their hate for her into hilarious role play outside. "Try some oooctopus," Andi says, attempting but failing to do Juan Pablo's Venezuelan accent. Kelly shrieks and flutters her hands in front of her face, gasping, "That's the most I've eaten in two weeks! Are you so proud of me?" (I'll admit, that dog lover is funny. If they ever bring Bachelor Pad back, Kelly definitely needs to move in.) Andi and Kelly's assessment of the situation isn't far off, as Clare is at this moment fawning all over Juan Pablo about the octopus incident. "I threw up in my mouth a little bit," she giggles. "But I swallowed it back down. Is that awful?" Um, yes. As is your transparent ploy to get Juan Pablo to kiss you by insisting that you want to take a break from kissing him. "I know I said no kissing," she teases, "but I didn't say for how long." I'm guessing the ban ends... now? Yep, poor Juan Pablo admits that he's "helpless" in the presence of Clare's "sexy" "teeth" and "lips," so the two end up smooching over chocolate treats. Suck it, Lauren! (Or rather, don't.) But it's Andi who gets the date rose -- proving once again that age-old adage, The way to a man's heart is through mocking his dancing skills.