The Bachelor recap: Hey Jealousy

The "ladies" finally start to realize that Juan Pablo is dating, like, a bunch of other chicks, and they are not happy
Ep. 03 | Aired Jan 20, 2014

PLAYING DIRTY The blue team is green with envy when Sharleen (second from left) scores a private makeout session with Juan Pablo after the game.

ABC

Next they stroll to a Venezuelan café and fill up on lots of delicious-looking fried food, which doesn't seem like a great idea given their next stop: Bungee jumping! Or, as Chelsie puts it, "the high dive on crack." I think we all know where this is going, right? Love is like a leap of faith, and so I really just have to trust him and let go, and now we have this bond that no one can break etc. etc. etc. First, though, we've got to let Chelsie whine and cry and whimper for awhile, while Juan Pablo murmurs things like "I'm here" and "Just do it for me" and "Nothing is going to happen." (Look, Juan Pabs, we all know you're a big, strong man, but those biceps ain't gonna stop both of your brains from splattering like overripe cantaloupe on the pavement if the cord snaps.) Of course, nothing that graphic happens -- though the pair does celebrate their jump by making out upside down. "The epitome of building a relationship is just jumping -- free-falling together," gushes Chelsie. "I think if we can jump off a bridge together, we can pretty much get through anything." There it is!

Over dinner at Pasadena's City Hall (it's a lot prettier than it sounds), Juan Pablo admits that his biggest fear in life is not setting a good example for Camila. (Oy.) Meanwhile, back at Casa Bachelor, Elise is setting a bad example for humans everywhere by continuing to trash talk her perceived rival Chelsie. "She just seems like a baby to me," she says for the umpteenth time, as Kat tries not to roll her eyes. "Do you know how old she is?" Kat guesses "25 or 26" (correct answer: 24), and then intentionally undercuts Elise's whole rant by compelling her to admit that she's only 27 herself. Anyhow, it's moot, because Chelsie gets the date rose (she's "wife material," according to Juan Pablo), and a private concert by some guy who allegedly likes to swear at old people. Best. Date. Everrrrrrr!

Oh what a beautiful morning! Oh what a beautiful day! I've got a beautiful feeling... that Juan Pablo is about to sneak into Casa Bachelor to make them breakfast -- and, he explains, to see them with "no makeup, no hair done." Kelly rises first (to take Molly for a walk, natch), and she is not pleased about the Bachelor's unannounced visit. "My grandmother always said, 'You never let a man see you without your face on,'" she moans, before literally holding her hand in front of her face and scurrying back upstairs. Renee, at least, manages to be a grown-up about it and gives Juan Pabs a morning-breath hug. And he LOVES it. "Renee's just natural, man," he purrs. "She's not worried about comin' in, and going up and fixing her hair, and she's gorgeous."

NEXT: Bench kissing or French kissing?

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