Long story short, the Tierrarist regrets nothing. Upon hearing this, the "ladies" roll their eyes, shake their heads in disgust, and whisper among themselves. By the time the commercial break is over, they're ready to put Tiny T's head on a spike. "You're delusional!" declares Robyn, as the audience ooooohs with delight. Jackie chimes in with, "She was there to be fake, to show Sean a good face, and that's it"; and Selma recounts the much-discussed Good Morning Incident, in which Tierra ignored the proffered salutation. Naturally, Tiny T. claims she does not recall it: "I honestly can't tell you what, every day, happened in the house."
Tierra next attempts to deflect the attention to AshLee, saying she only defended herself after her elderly rival kept "picking" at her and lied to her about what she told Sean. Foster Care is not having it: "I take great offense to you sitting here and calling me a liar," AshLee growls. Let's be honest, rose lovers, AshLee can be pretty scary; and Harrison wants to know, was she "a bit of a bully" in St. Croix? "Tierra made her own bed, her own cot, what have you," quips Lesley, the room's only other eye-witness to the fight, since Catherine's sequestered somewhere in the Final Two Fortress. "I think [AshLee] was tough, but I think somebody had to be." Applause all around! Still, despite numerous attempts to break Tierra's spirit and have her break down in tears the way Courtney did at last year's Women Tell All, the closest Team Bachelor ever gets to a Tierra meltdown is this half-assed apology: "I think I came into this really scared," Tiny T tells her adversaries, her eyes shining. "And I didn't really know how to handle it. And I handled it, I guess, in a bad way. And I apologize."
And while we may never know whether Tierra's new fiancé is a real person, we did learn something revelatory about the Tierrarist tonight, and (more importantly) about her SparkleTM: "When I was a little girl, I won Little Miss Nevada." That kind of explains it all, doesn't it?
Moving to the opposite end of the humanity spectrum, it's time for Sarah to get her moment of nostalgic humiliation. "It's hard to see that and wonder why, what changed in Sean's head," sighs Sarah tearfully after re-watching Sean break up with her. "It's the worst to be told you're great, but you're not good enough for me." Though she can't help herself from falling back on the "it must be because I have one arm" mindset, Sarah does feel the time she spent on her Bachelor "journey" has taught her to be more "vulnerable." Hmmm, if she could learn to stop talking through her nose Sarah might not be a bad Bachelorette...
Oh, wait -- sorry, that slot may already be taken. Desiree, you're up! (And I have to say, you're one of the few people on this planet who may, in fact, look better with bangs. But that's not important right now.) Des and her naked forehead watch from the corner-cam as Team Bachelor rolls the footage of Sean's extremely uncomfortable goodbye yet again, and underneath her composed exterior she is still clearly a roiling cauldron of hurt feelings. "I saw our lives lining up," says Des tremulously. "I pictured ourselves together." As for her rude brother, Des insists he was just being "protective," but admits he may have sabotaged her chances with Sean: "I would be curious to see if my brother hadn't been there, would things have been different?" Harrison calls her "very beloved," but declines to anoint her as the next Bachelorette... yet.
NEXT: AshLee to Sean: You're a lyin' frat boy!