The Bachelor recap: Thai Breaker

The "ladies" grapple with the Fantasy Suite invite (don't worry -- all the Bachelor wants to do is "talk") and Sean sends a front-runner home
Ep. 09 | Aired Feb 25, 2013

PLEASE DON'T FEED THE TOURISTS Sean and Lindsay bow to their monkey overlords on a beach in Thailand.

ABC

Gather 'round, rose lovers. It's time we had The Talk. You see, when three women love a man very, very much, they allow a camera crew to follow them to a magical place called the "Fantasy Suite," where they'll give away just enough milk to keep the man interested without quashing his desire to buy the cow. Make sense? Great, let's watch how it unfolds this year.

This leg of Sean's "journey" opens with a gorgeous aerial shot of Si Kao, Thailand, where the Bachelor has traveled to meet his Final Three: Catherine, who's "very funny," "sweet," and "a little weird, nerdy and goofy," which Sean likes because, as he puts it, "I need more silly in my life." Then there's AshLee, who has "all of these Amazing Qualities that any man would want in a wife," and is "so giving and caring" and "open and honest." But what about Lindsay? "I almost sent her home the first night," recalls Sean. "I thought Lindsay could be crazy -- and not a good crazy." But then she cut back on the booze and the Bachelor realized that Lindsay is "so loving, caring, generous, supportive, hilarious" and "seems to never have a bad day."

Man, they all sound perfect! What's a born-again virgin to do? Why, take those three "ladies" to a fancy hotel for some "alone time" in the Fantasy Suite of course! First up is Lindsay, who is anxious to let Sean know that in the days since she last saw him, she's gone from "falling in love" to "in love" with him. Hop in the motorized pedicab, you guys, and hit the local market. Those brightly painted little chicks and mystery fruits on a stick are waiting for you! Despite the exotic surroundings, both Sean and Lindsay agree it's the closest they've come to a regular date this whole time. "If we end up together," explains Lindsay, "our normal vacations will be just like this."

Complete with Survivor-style challenges, it seems: The Bachelor leads Lindsay to a food stall that's serving up fried insects and larvae and other assorted local delicacies. "On the way over here, Lindsay said, 'I'll try anything but I will not eat bugs' -- so, we'll see," reveals Sean, who views this exercise in culinary sadism as yet another "test" for his potential bride. Rather than telling the Bachelor to shove his Wife Exams where the sun don't shine, Lindsay gamely downs two bugs. She's more woman than I am, clearly; I'd rather rappel down a skyscraper submerged in freezing cold water while wearing roller skates than put a larvae (cooked or otherwise) in my mouth.

With the grotesqueries out of the way, the duo head to the beach, where Lindsay tries to drop the l-bomb but can't quite bring herself to do it -- even after Sean declares, "You're the best friend that I've been looking for." Say it, squeaky! Say it! No? You're just gonna make out with him instead? Okay. The monkeys at Yong Ling Beach don't care if you wuss out -- as long as you keep the grapes coming.

NEXT: AshLee details her ideal ring for Sean

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