The Bachelor recap: Eyebrow-Beaten

Ding-dong, the bitch is dead!
Ep. 07 | Aired Feb 11, 2013

THE BRUNETTE HAS TWO FACES Tierra is all smiles during her one-on-one with Sean.

ABC

Shockingly, Tierra does not want to say goodbye to the other "ladies," and so Sean walks her through the hotel parking lot to a waiting Reject Minivan. There, Tierra has Emmy-worthy meltdown Team Bachelor has been teasing all season. "I can't believe they did this to me!" she sobs dramatically. "I hope the girls got what they wanted." Oh sweetie, you can rest assured that YES THEY DID. The reign of Tierra is over!!

Of course, the "ladies" don't know it yet. No one on Team Bachelor has bothered to inform them that Sean gave Tierra a one-way ticket back to Crazytown, so they're all anxious as they wait for the Bachelor to arrive at the cocktail party. When Sean shows up solo, the women suck in their breath and hold it so tight they're practically levitating. And they clearly don't hear anything he says after the words "Tierra went home tonight," because they're all trying so damn hard not to high-five each other. But it wouldn't be an episode of The Bachelor without a needle-scratch moment, and Sean's got one of those ready too: "I know what I need to do tonight, so there's not going to be a cocktail party."

Upon hearing this, AshLee goes from happiness to repressed hysteria, as she's certain that Sean holds her accountable for the day's tattle-tale "drama" and plans to send her home accordingly. Poor girl, don't worry your pretty, center-parted little head over it. After all, the one way to lose a rose is to not declare that you're "falling for"/"have fallen for"/'falling in love with"/"in love with" the Bachelor? And thus, we say goodbye to Lesley, she of the relatively minimalist declarations of affection. Oddly enough, it's Catherine who takes the news the hardest; she breaks down in tears once the rose ceremony is over and still hasn't gotten it together when it's time to film her post-ceremony confessional. "If he doesn't want Lesley, I don't know why I'm here," she gasps between sobs. "She has more in common with him than I do... My beliefs are shattered about what he wants."

Well, that was interesting, eh rose lovers? We don't normally see a bachelorette having a crisis of conscience right after making it to the hometowns round. I mean, Lesley barely even got any Reject SUV screen time! Obviously, Team Bachelor wants us to turn our attentions to Catherine for next week. Are you ready to follow their lead? As for hometowns, I'm already all about Lindsay's withholding Four-Star General dad and whoever that angry guy is at Desiree's house who calls Sean a "playboy" and the whole process "stupid." Go that guy! What did you think of tonight's leg of Sean's "journey," rose lovers? Was Tierra's demise everything you wanted it to be, and more? Do you think she'll show her face at The Women Tell All? And did I seriously just write a six-page recap of The Bachelor? My sincere apologies! Post your comments now, and then check out what Chris Harrison has to say in his PopWatch blog about Ms. Denthead's departure.


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