The Bachelor recap: Milking It

Part one of the two-night Bachelorpalooza features a group date gatecrasher, a goat-milking competition, and the dreaded two-on-one date showdown
Ep. 05 | Aired Feb 4, 2013

SEE NO EVIL Sean gets a surprise visit during his group date confessional.

ABC

Tiny T drags Sean outside to give him a guilt trip. "I came all the way to Montana to spend time with you," she coos, "and I'm like, 'What the heck? Why am I getting a two-on-one?'... Honestly the two-on-one -- it felt like a huge slap in the face, almost." In her manipulative brilliance, Tierra just keeps talking and talking and talking -- literally, the only word Sean gets in is "um" -- and she piles veiled threats on top of guilt on top of pick me, choose me, love mes. "I hope you follow your heart and make the right decision, because I know one of us is going home."

And with a few send-off smooches, she's gone, running off into the night with the gleeful knowledge that she's gotten a "head start" (in her words) on tomorrow's two-on-one date. Here's a question though, Team Bachelor: Why in the name of all that's holy did you NOT let the other "ladies" know Tierra was there? Since when do you respect these women's "feelings" or "dignity"? That was a train wreck TV classic ready to happen! Also, why no footage of Jackie back at the hotel going, "Um, guys? Where is Tierra going? Why does she get to leave?"

Anyhoo, once Tiny T leaves, Sean hasn't heard the last of the complaining. Fortunately, Des only gets to whine for a minute or so -- "I come to find out, 'Oh crap, I could have just walked the whole thing and been able to spend time with you!'" -- before AshLee moves in to make the most of her borrowed time. "I have this, like, soul connection with you," purrs AshLee to Sean. "I just adore you." (For the record, he is "crazy about" her as well, which makes how many "ladies" he's said that about, rose lovers? Three? Four?) AshLee's blue teammate Catherine enjoys a cozy moment with the Bachelor as well -- they snuggle outside on a bench, with Catherine sitting on Sean's lap -- and they're having such a good time they don't even notice poor, forgotten Daniella staring at them from the doorway.

Of course, by the time she finally does get her one-on-one time with Sean, Daniella is a hot sniffly mess and she can't hide her tears. She babbles something to the Bachelor about how "hard" it is to see Sean "connect" with the other women, and he does his best to calm her down, in a non-committal way of course. "I know I love being with you," he says. "I just don't want you to feel like I've forgotten about you or anything like that." That must have been exactly what Daniella wanted to hear, because she lunges at his face, tongue-first. And... she gets the rose! Suck it twice, red team!

The next day, Tiny T and Jackie pack their bags and climb into an SUV, where they stare out of opposite windows and ride in silence to their two-on-one date with Sean. The Bachelor's plan for the day? Meet the girls at the Bar W Guest Ranch, where he'll ask Tierra some "probing questions" while also deciding whether Jackie can be his "best friend." Oh, and they'll go horseback riding, too.

NEXT: Tierra plays her trump card

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