The Bachelor recap: Falling Hard

Tierra trips over herself to get Sean's attention, Lesley seals it with an interminable kiss, and Kacie falls victim to the Bachelor Tattle-Tale Curse
Ep. 03 | Aired Jan 21, 2013

MARATHON MAKE-OUT Lesley and Sean go for the Guinness while Harrison and a bunch of bemused tourists look on.

ABC

AshLee and the "ladies" watch skeptically from the doorway as Tierra refuses medical attention and stands up. "I don't know whether she's hurt or not," says Catherine, "but she, like, popped up and was like, 'Okay, Sean's here!' Like, I mean, maybe Sean is her magic potion." Of course, the Bachelor follows Tierra out to the deck to make sure she's not seeing double or bleeding from the ears, or whatever. "I wish you hadn't have fallen," says Sean, stroking Tierra's thigh, "but I'm glad we got this time together, though." Tee-hee-hee, giggles Tiny Tee flirtatiously, while AshLee glowers in the kitchen, Bachelor-less. (Side note: Kudos to Team Bachelor's editing trickery, which attempted to make it look like Kacie B. pushed Tierra down the stairs. If only.)

Eventually, Sean peels himself away from Clumsy McBitcherson and turns his attention to AshLee. He drives her to Six Flags, which has been shut down for just the two of them... and two chronically ill teen girls who online through the Starlight Foundation and are now getting to meet each other thanks to The Bachelor. "Charity work is an important part of my life," Sean tells us. "Today... I'll have a really good chance to see if [AshLee] feels at home doing charity work too." Though really, it's not much work: Sean and AshLee get to witness the absurdly heartwarming moment with Emily and Brianna meet in person... and then it's off to the rides! "AshLee was so comfortable in front of the girls," marvels Sean. "And she would go out of her way to make conversation with the girls. I'm noticing just how compassionate AshLee is, and I love that about her." By the time Emily declares the outing "the best day in my life," I was feeling all together too sniffly and sentimental and desperate for something to mock. Oh look, it's the Eli Young Band!

Since AshLee didn't get much time to talk to Sean about her troubled upbringing during the first half of the date, she knows it's gotta happen at dinner. She starts slowly, telling the Bachelor that she's always wanted to adopt an older child, since kids past the age of two often have a hard time being placed in homes. "That is something that I've wanted, but a lot of people don't want that," says AshLee. "But I do," answers Sean. "It's always something that's been in my heart." Seeing her moment, AshLee dives right in: "I was adopted at 6, and when I was in a foster home I was abused by a family," she confesses. "But I'm not bitter, I'm not broken. I was never sexually abused... If that's all I walk away with, how lucky am I?"

Holy perspective, Batman! AshLee, your fantastic attitude is definitely outweighing the unfortunate spelling of your name. (Also, congratulations for being the first person to ever utter the phrase "Life is hard" on The Bachelor. That is phenomenal.) By the time AshLee finishes telling Sean about her family -- "I remember them taking me home from the courthouse and saying, 'We're going to tell you we love you every day'" -- the Bachelor is in tears. All of this activates his white knight reflex, naturally, and he doesn't hesitate to give AshLee the rose. And she LOVES it: "My heart is in his hands, to hold and nurture and take care of." Well, he can't do everything for you, honey -- aim for 20 minutes of cardio a day, just to be sure.

NEXT: "I mean, girls are being ruthless!"

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