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MARATHON MAKE-OUT Lesley and Sean go for the Guinness while Harrison and a bunch of bemused tourists look on.
After that monumental ice-breaker, Sean and Lesley have an easy time making conversation that night over champagne on a hotel rooftop. Lesley admits to being a "nerd" who "studied a lot" in high school, and says the one thing she wants in life is a marriage like the one her parents have. "I'm nervous that it may not come," she says, to which Sean replies, "You're going to find the guy that wants to do that. He might be sitting next to you." Whoa, pal, try to play a little hard to get won'tcha? Then the Bachelor all but begs Lesley to kiss him -- "I'm waiting for you to take [control] back" – and she obliges. Of course he gives her the rose; the dude is a smitten kitten: "I didn't think that I would have feelings this fast," Sean tells Lesley, "but, you know, I do." Then they make out in a storm of random confetti.
Group daaaaaaaaaaaaaate! The next day Kacie, Robyn, Leslie H., Kristy, Catherine, Desiree, Taryn, Amanda, Lindsay, Daniella, Jackie, and Tierra head to the beach to help Sean answer the question, "Who will win my heart?" He orders them to strip down and recreate every beer commercial ever by playing bikini football in the sand, but to be fair he also puts his six-pack on display. It's all fun and games until Harrison -- sporting some rather baggy linen trousers -- arrives and let's the "ladies" know what's up: They're going to divide into two teams and play a volleyball match to the death – the winners get to continue the date, and the losers get to go back to Casa Bachelor and wash the sand out of their lady business.
The game starts, and as the Bachelor observes, it's not pretty. These women aren't really athletes, and beach volleyball is really more of a punishment than a game, so before we know it, the score is tied at 12-12. (MVP goes to Daniella, who can't really play volleyball but isn't afraid to dive face-first into the sand while reaching for the ball.) It all comes down to Desiree, who serves for match point and ultimately leads her blue teammates -- Kacie, Lindsay, Jackie, Robyn, and Amanda -- to victory. That means Catherine, Taryn, Leslie, Kristy, Tierra, and Daniella the sand-eater have to leave. It's too much for Kristy to bear. "I just wanted, like, time to have," she sobs, as her somber-faced teammates/competitors nod in understanding. Eventually they all pile into the Loser Van for a silent, teary ride back to the Casa.
Meanwhile the rest of the "ladies" are cozying up to Sean at his pad. After smooching Lindsay, the Bachelor goes deep with Desiree ("I think differently, I think, than a lot of people -- so I don't just think, like, on the surface," she says), and...
We interrupt this group date to bring you another act of bitchery from Tierra. When the date card arrives, she scampers back from the door and announces, "AshLee [long pause] and Selma..." The "ladies" are stunned – is the dreaded two-on-one date already here? Their terror makes Tiny T shriek with delight. "Haaaa!" she scoff-squeals. No, the card is just for AshLee: "Do you believe in magic?" Sarah is not having it. "That was, like, not cool," she tells Tierrarist. "It's not cool." We now return you to your regularly scheduled group date.
...then Amanda -- who thinks lots of her competition "think that they have a stronger connection with Sean that they really do" -- makes her move.
NEXT: It's no surprise that "Kacie" kind of rhymes with "crazy"