The Bachelor recap: The Book of Love

The "ladies" fight for time with Sean during a Harlequin-themed group date, while Tierra and Amanda write a new chapter in How to Make Women Hate You 101
Ep. 02 | Aired Jan 14, 2013

WHEN FORD MODELS ATTACK Kristy gets handsy with Sean at the Harlequin shoot.

Poor Katie and her tiny, tight leather miniskirt are also having a hard time. First, at the photo shoot she had to get dressed up like a vampire extra from Flashdance -- "I look like I'm going to an '80s rock concert, but I need some dental work," she lamented – and at the party she still feels like the odd duck out. So, she makes a decision: she's not going to compete, she's going to retreat.  "I feel like I'm not adjusting very well at all," she tells Sean. "I just feel like this is not the right setting for me… and I need to go home." Soon after he walks Katie to the Reject Minivan, Sean gives the rose to... Kacie? What? I call Team Bachelor bulls--t! And so does Tierra! "I wanted to punch her," growls Tiny T, who sometimes looks like she has a dent in her forehead. "I don't get it."

You know what I don't get? The next date. For some reason, Sean has decided that it might be fun to take Desiree to a fake gallery and make her believe that she caused an accident that destroyed a priceless piece of art. "I want a girl with a great sense of humor," explains the Bachelor, "so it will be fun to see how she reacts." Hopefully Desiree doesn't know anything about art, or galleries for that matter, because the location of this date is very clearly a drafty studio that's been given a half-assed makeover by production assistants making $6 an hour, and the pieces on display look like something from the Draw Winky School of Matchbook Art. But Desiree is just happy to be there and eagerly agrees when the "gallery" "owner" offers to give Sean and his date a "sneak peek" of the artist's piece de reisistance, a colorful sculpture worth $1.5 million.

By the time a producer pulls Sean (and all of the visible cameras) out of the room for an "interview," the Bachelor is starting to feel really guilty about pulling this prank on his date. "I was starting to have second thoughts on whether or not we should do this," Sean whispers to Harrison, who admits the whole thing is "a little messed up." Once the giant red orb shatters on the ground, though, Sean just can't bear to watch Desiree being questioned by the "angry" "artist," so he rushes in from the other room to do the whole Smile, you're on Candid Chris Harrison Camera! thing. Knee slaps all around! Now why don't you two crazy kids go back to Sean's place for some steak and giant broccoli florets?

At dinner, Sean and Desiree do seem to have an easy chemistry as they chat about their upbringings and their loving, still-married parents. "I've been comfortable with you from, like, the first second," the Bachelor tells her. Desiree is comfortable enough with Sean to put on four petite triangles of pink fabric and join him in the hot tub. "I think she knows she has this in the bag," says the Bachelor. "So the rose is just a formality." As is their post-rose make out session in the pool.

NEXT: Is Sean attracted to "black females"?

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