The Amazing Race recap: Screeching to the Choir

Teams must sing in German before the Vienna Boys' Choir; tragedy ensues
Ep. 06 | Aired Nov 3, 2013

THE SOUND OF 'MUSIC' Lacking in technical merit, Jamal boldly strives for a perfect score in artistic interpretation while warbling "Die Forelle," a song about a trout.

CBS

Amy nails "Die Forelle," perhaps thanks in part to the accompanying whooshing noises from her ridiculously short black ruffled skirt. (Isn't everyone else wearing athletic "geahhhh"?) Amy and Jason pick up their lawn ornaments (sadly no partially nude backpack-finder in sight), find another taxi pretty easily, and then spot Marie and Tim's bags in their former taxi when they arrive at Schönbrunn Palace. Jason describes this as "one of those moments when your heart just drops." He's such a sensitive dear.

But it was too late for sensitivity: As she'd threatened in their angry taxi ride over, "Providence Amy" had indeed come out to play. "I'm gonna kill them," she states. We do not catch a glimpse of the murder in Scenesfromnextweek, but who knows? The Race is full of surprises. Amy and Jason's tension-fueled face-off with Marie and Tim at the Pit Stop chilled me to the bone. Even parasol lady seemed to shiver under the hot summer sun.

It's down to Ally vs. Okie Tim in front of the languishing choir. They're both awful. Ally finally gets the clue after her fourth and possibly worst try. But poor Tim. He is so hopeless no one can even stand it. The children can't even pretend to sing anymore. "Um. Pay attention on the beginning," his instructor suggests. He's run out of iconic American pop stars for Tim to imitate. Really he's run out of anything to say at all.

Tim's partner Danny approaches him with the best attitude imaginable. "It's all right, buddy," Danny says. "It's hard. I couldn't have done any better." I somehow doubt that's true, but what else is there to say? So Tim tries one last time. It's perhaps less soul-sucking than the ones before.

"How do you feel?"
"Uh, bad."
[LONGEST PAUSE TO DATE]
"Congratulations."

Yay! He "did it"!

We get a bit of a fakeout as Ally and Ashley decide to WALK from the labyrinth to the gloriette instead of jog, but Tim and Danny lagged too far behind them to catch up. They're headed home. "You can let it out, it's all right," urges Phil's cocked eyebrow. And Danny and Tim let Browsie have the platitudes Browsie deserves after a long leg of mostly relaxation with minimal grooming. "We had high expectations… For never even leaving the country we did get pretty far.. I got to travel with my best friend…. This is a blessing." And the kicker: They will have memories that will last them a lifetime.

Cheers to Tim and Danny!

RESULTS OF LEG:

Winners: Nicole and Travis, who will get to relax in Anguilla with golfing CuisinArts
2nd place: Nicky and Kim
3rd: Leo and Jamal
4th: Tim and Marie
5th: Jason and Amy
6th: Ally and Ashley

Next week: Car racing in Abu Dhabi! Plus, voiceover of a lady contestant saying "This girl's got serious mental problems" over footage of Marie freaking out over some sort of dried fruit platter.

Interestingly (or maybe I'm just really boring), season 4's Vienna episode, in which a Fast-Forward involved searching the grounds around Schönbrunn Palace, was directly followed by a race car Roadblock in France. History's somewhat repeating itself. I'd also forgotten about season 18's "Deliver a psychoanalysis couch from Freud's former home to his former workplace" challenge. It turns out I should have a ton of Vienna-related memories that do not involve The Sound of Music. Thank you, Wikipedia.

Are you upset about Tim and Danny's elimination? How would you have handled TaxiGate? Should I have written some brief fan fiction in which Captain Von Trapp disciplines Marie?

Discuss!

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