Image credit: Cliff Lipson/CBS
THE FABULOUS RACE Josh and Brent returned to NYC for the ultimate homecoming: a whole lotta love and $1 million.
With Abbie and Ryan out, the Twins immediately adopted a new raison d'être, which was to annihilate the Beekmans. Despite all their ranting about what a waste of space and oxygen the Beekmans are, the Twins were obviously feeling threatened by them, especially in light of the Speed Bump. It was fascinating to watch the Twins get increasingly angry that the Beekmans were still in the race; comments were made about their "hanging around for no reason" and "taking up a spot" and "coasting through" and "hanging on coattails." Oh, and the "tricks up the sleeve" stuff. My favorite line, though, was the "adding insult to injury" one. What's the insult? That you have to compete against them at all? What's the injury? God knows. But it was pretty fun to see the Twins descend into such a frazzled and insecure place. I liked the way Brent and Josh played to their panicking and let them "stew in their nerves." It was an effective strategy. As was taunting "The gays are gonna beat you!"
Once in France, there was more driving and navigating to do, which is good because we haven't had enough of it this season and also because this allowed the Chips to perform that short yet persuasive commercial for Ford.
Some clue pickups happened and then the Twins' Speed Bump happened during which they roughed up a French woman and kneed her in the small of the back. During the Twins' absence it was interesting and totally unsurprising to see that the Alliance broke down indeed. Those two are so the Regina George of the Race.
When it came to the Detour, there was a lot of to-do about which teams would do "Chow" and which would do "Plow." Eventually Texas and the Chips took on "Plow," where they had to use a traditional horse and plow to make four furrows in some very troublesome-looking dirt. This looked super exhausting for the person holding the plow and super relaxing for the person moseying along making kissing noises and speaking French to the horses. Nothing much to see here except some adorable, scarved French farmers. And that dear moment when Jaymes gave his horse a merci smooch!
The Beekmans and Twins tackled "Chow," where they had to prepare a raw meat buffet extravaganza for a pack of hungry hunting dogs while simultaneously semi-fake trash-talking each other. Their banter was a cringe-worthy, highly compelling piece of entertainment. I don't know exactly what you'd call this type of exchange -- theatrical trash talk?-- but it was pretty silly. Evil gays! You're faking your ankle injury! Evil twins! During this time I was deeply distracted by/concerned for the girls' hair, which kept dangling dangerously close all that meaty meat. I suppose that's no big whoop to them, considering that their hair's already been coated with fish twice this season. But I was quite impressed with the way the Beekmans remained completely unfazed by all the flak. They seemed in command, between their meat-prepping strategy (they're farmers, after all) and solid psychological warfare strategy. "I think we actually confused the twins a bit by joking with them," Josh said. It did seem that the Beekmans distracted and befuddled their competition. "The gays bloody beat us," one of the twins said in disbelief as the boys sped away. Gayly. Right, girls?