Image credit: Fox
FIK-SHUN DISCLAIMER The foxtrot is just a hobby.
Aaron Turner and All-Star Melanie Moore -- Broadway by Spencer Liff
Music: "Faith" by George Michael
These two played an eternally arguing couple (sounds fun!) who are "totally in love but know how to push each other's buttons," explained Spencer Liff during a rare moment of not being consumed by the couple's giggles. Apparently one of those buttons is called "drop ya on your head," because that's unfortunately what happened two-thirds of the way through this routine. "I'm totally fine," Melanie told the judges with the assurance of someone who'd potentially had a few screws knocked loose in her brain. That fall looked really bad!
In lieu of harping over the drop, though, Nigel re-demanded that Aaron make sure to lower his shoulders during routines. "Is it part of the injury in your shoulders?" wondered Mary. "Or are you not gonna have that as your excuse?" This injury is news to us, but Aaron's had shoulder issues since before last week's show. You could see him all intricately taped up like an Olympian diver (other sports use that tape too, but why not picture Aaron as a diver?) during rehearsal footage. Aaron was holding back a little, he admitted, to protect himself from further injury. "It's very important I can keep competing."
Fik-Shun and All-Star Witney Carson -- foxtrot by Jonathan Roberts
Music: "Sexy Silk" by Jessie J
"Her heel could go through your eye -- but don't worry about it," the sweetly sassy Jonathan assured our animator as Witney attempted a front walkover directly over his face. The judges mostly focused on Witney's Marilyn Monroe look here (how did the props department not spring for a steaming manhole, for maximum bombshell effect?) but ballroom expert Mary offered props to Fik-Shun -- despite some rough spots in the foxtrot -- for his closed dance position when in hold. "You really had a nice straight line across your back." Mary can see lines the rest of us cannot.
Jasmine Harper and All-Star Neil Haskell -- jazz by Tyce Diorio
Music: "Unfaithful" from the Unfaithful soundtrack
I'm a terrible person. Fine. I suspected maybe I wasn't, but I guess I am because I just was not buyin' this theme at all from Tasty Oreo. I found it hard to get invested after he school-marmed us: "Globally, there's been so many tornadoes, hurricanes, tsunamis that have wiped people's lives out" -- and then acted like it was our responsibility, or something, to talk about it through dance. Is it? With all those crumpled papers blowin' in the wind it seemed more like Newsies: A New Kind of Natural Disaster to me. But of course Jasmine and Neil danced this beautifully and with jaw-dropping extensions that blended into each other like fierce winds rustling up the tears of the grieving. I don't mean to be insensitive to hurricane victims, I really don't. It just seemed like a bit...much.
"The history books will tell us what happened during this time, with all these tragedies -- but it's dance that will tell us how we felt about that." IS IT? Mary at least put it better than Tyce -- this great conceit that dance should educate us about tsunamis. But seriously?!
Amy Yakima and All-Star Alex Wong -- Bollywood by Nakul Dev Mahajan
Music: "Munni Badnaam Hui Darling" from Dabangg (soundtrack)
Yes! Amy and A. Freaking W. are both so poppy and snappy. And explosive! I wasn't thrilled when I heard they were doing Bollywood, but I should have opened my mind a little, to the devastating hurricane of twisting tides that would teach me everything I will ever need to know about India, and realized that Amy and Alex would naturally make anything freaking fabulous. I think this has been my favorite Bollywood routine to date. It's the style Alex was meant to do just before he injured his Achilles during his season. And he was dying to do it! He's such a treat.
"Good golly, Miss Bollywood! CRINGE." --Jesse Tyler Ferguson, dinging himself
NEXT: Everyone gangs up on Miley Cyrus