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THE PATRIOT: Apparently, Phillip is sending the entire USA after Rob and Grant
"Hell will hath no fury like a lion or a gorilla when he thinks it has been provoked," explains Phillip, which is immediately followed by the sound of a lion roar…much in the same way editors added in eagle squawking noises for Coach in Tocantins for comedic effect. Then Phillip seems to get a bit confused and pulls out a Cold War speech from 1984. "I served my country for 4 years, 11 months, and 13 days. Duty, honor, and country: Those words mean something to me. And when you try to trash that — me and the United States got something for you when you try that one, baby." At this point, I half expect Rocky (fresh off his ass-kicking of Ivan Drago), 1980 U.S. Miracle on Ice hockey goalie Jim Craig, and the entire cast of Red Dawn to march in waving American flags and chanting "USA! USA! USA!" Which is all well and fine, but what the hell does it have to do with Rob not sharing a clue? Has he all of a sudden morphed into some sort of Commie bastard? Confusing times, these are.
Here comes Zapatera into Tribal Council. The tribe looks weary and divided as they walk in and… What? Are you kidding me? Another tarantula shot? What is this, the freakin' Forbidden Forest? Is Aragog gonna saunter in and split Probst in two if he doesn’t take kindly to a particular line of questioning? Enough with the spiders! The big question on everyone's mind is whether David and Stephanie's lobbying to keep her over Sarita will have paid off. Stephanie claims that Sarita was "shaking in her boots when she found out we were going to do a contact sport," and then keeps hammering away at her, indicating by how hard she is fighting to stay that she is, in fact, next to go. Then Steve even chimes in, inadvertently getting a really annoying Billy Joel song stuck in my head by commenting that Sarita is "a bit of an uptown girl that I don’t think has gotten her footing out here in the wilderness yet." (What's Christie Brinkley doing dancing around at a gas station anyway? She could slip on some oil or break a heel, for crissakes!)
For his part, David keeps arguing that keeping someone who can help you win challenges is more important than keeping someone you can trust not to switch sides. I'm not so sure. David is absolutely right that going into the merge with a numbers advantage is key, but seasons like Tocantins and Samoa have proved that a united minority can easily topple a divided majority. And if David could hear the way that Stephanie has been openly courting the other tribe, he might think twice about his stance. In the end, it doesn't matter, as Stephanie — or "Stifinie," as a vote that I have to assume was from Ralph spells it — is ousted. On her way out while casting her vote for Sarita, she promises that "I'll see you on Redemption Island and I'll kick your ass then." She'll need to get past the dude with the pink Bible first.
And we have some goodies for you to get past as well. An exclusive deleted scene from last night's episode awaits you in the video player below, along with my pregame interview with Krista. Jeff Probst weighs in on David's strength-versus- trustworthiness argument and answers other questions in his weekly EW.com assessment, and for more Survivor news and views you can follow me on Twitter @EWDaltonRoss. But first, let us know what you think. Sick of spiders? Has the Redemption Island twist made Survivor's most dramatic moment less dramatic? And should Zapatera have gotten rid of Stephanie or Sarita? Hit the message boards and let us know. See ya next week!