Survivor recap: The Crying Game

Russell gets emotional at Redemption Island, and then baits Ralph into a big-time blunder
Ep. 04 | Aired Mar 9, 2011

R&R: Russell faced off against both Matt and Ralph at Redemption Island

Image credit: Monty Brinton/CBS

This is vintage Russell, tearing down others while proclaiming his own awesomeness for everyone to hear. But Ralph won't take the bait, will he? "I don’t hardly think so. I thought we done great. Russell would not show us the hidden clue where the Idol was hidden. But that was beside the point. I'd already found it fifteen seconds at the game." NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Even if you liked Ralph for standing up to Russell and helping engineer his ouster, you had to be hanging your head at his stupidity here. Russell, of course, challenges him to show it, and Ralph —who had also moronically informed his whole tribe of the Idol earlier — immediately starts to take it out of his bag. Only Sarita's pleas of, "Don't do this, Ralph," stop the human man-sweater from revealing it.

Now, he is stuck. "I faked you!" he says, lamely trying to reverse course. Too late. Russell, by now in hysterics, looks right over to Ometepe: "He has the Idol. He's such a good player he's telling you everything he has right now." Ralph then tries his best — which was not very good — to convince everyone that he doesn't have the Idol, but dude, you’re trying to pull one over on a former federal agent? GOOD LUCK! "It was not a lie. It was not a lie," Phillip starts yelling to no one in particular. "I earned my living discerning whether someone was telling the truth or not, and you have an Idol. You'll probably get an opportunity to use it if I have anything to do with it." Awwwww, yeah — faced by the savvy, sporty man who puts the "gent" in "federal agent."

With the floodgates now open, Russell keeps at it, telling Ometepe that Sarita is in charge and that Mike and Steve are aligned as well. All Ralph had to do was keep his mouth shut. Instead, he allowed himself to get baited. Make no mistake, he got played. It was pretty unbelievable. Almost as unbelievable as Russell then saying, "This is my last time playing this game. That's it. I have nothing else to prove to myself or to my family." And I believe that about as much as I believe that the Medallion of Power was an awesome addition to the Survivor franchise.

Back at Ometepe, Rob is complaining of constipation, but it's all a ruse that trickster has concocted to go searching for the Hidden Immunity Idol. Turns out he's not constipated at all. He can poop just fine, thank you very much! After dragging the tribe down the beach to play something called Royal Treatments, he scurries away to search for the Idol, which he finally does locate sitting in a tree.

Once back from Redemption Island, Phillip pulls aside Rob and Grant and informs Rob that he'll tell him everything Russell spilled, as long as he "can do something for Kristina." Why would Phillip want to do something for Kristina, one of his arch-enemies? He doesn't! This is clearly another masterstroke of deception by the world's foremost super spy. Don't you see it? He's got Rob completely all turned around once again — and he didn’t even have to drop his pants to do it! "Hey, dumb-ass. Aren’t you in my alliance? Don’t you work for me?" wonders Boston Rob. No, he does not, Rob. Phillip Sheppard works for one man and one man only: Uncle Sam. You got something to say about that? Well, then take it up with the gorilla, mister!

NEXT: Probst brings a catchphrase back from the dead

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